“Dean. Posted. On. Reddit.” She turns the phone toward me. “About you.”
I snatch it from her hands.
Am I the Asshole for wanting to evict a wedding planner from my guest house who’s turning my property into a three-ring circus (even though I technically agreed to host the event)?
“No.” I sink onto the bed. “No no no.”
“Keep reading.”
I do. Every horrible word.
She’s… a lot. Energetic, constantly smiling. Basically a total type-A.
“Type-A? I’m type-A??”
“Keep going.”
She’s not doing anything wrong per se. She’s just… everywhere. On my lawn. On my porch. In my brain.
“In his brain,” CeCe says. “Interesting.”
I’m going to throw up. Or cry. Or march over there and strangle him with his own perfectly pressed tie.
“Look at the comments,” CeCe says.
I scroll down.
[BagelDad]: As someone who has literally been pooped on by a goat at a winery wedding, I feel you. But also? You’re totally gonna fall in love with her.
[gayunclesrevenge]: Sir, you are not asking if you’re the asshole. You’re asking if it’s okay to be in love with a woman who smells like vanilla and organizes for a living. Yes. It’s okay.
“Oh my God.”
“There’s more.”
[cottagecore_cynic]: This is the enemies-to-lovers goat-inclusive wedding novel I didn’t know I needed.
“I’m going to kill him.”
“With what? Your type-A organizational skills?”
I stand up. Pace. Sit down. Stand up again.
“He posted about me. On the internet. To strangers.”
“To be fair, he didn’t use your name.” CeCe’s still scrolling, completely unbothered by my mounting panic.
“HE POSTED ABOUT GEORGE.” My voice cracks on the goat’s name. I’m pacing now, wearing a path in the guest house carpet.
“The goat deserved recognition.” She says it so deadpan I almost laugh. Almost.
“CeCe!” I whirl on her, and she finally looks up from her phone.
“What?” She spreads her hands innocently, eyebrows raised. “I’m trying to find the silver lining here.”
My chest feels tight. “There is no silver lining! He thinks I’m annoying!”
“He thinks you’re in his brain.” She taps her temple with one finger, giving me a meaningful look.
