“The stranger touching your feet. The pumice stone. The thing where they push back your cuticles.” He shrugs. “You get used to it.”
I don’t want to get used to it. I want to be literally anywhere else.
But as I look around the room—at my teammates, these men I’ve fought beside and bled beside, and won and lost beside—a knot loosens in my chest.
They’re here. Despite everything. Despite the rumors, the lies, and the mess I made.
They’re still here.
“Alright, everyone!” Logan stands up in his massage chair, water sloshing dangerously. “Can Ihave your attention, please?”
“Sit down, dude. You’re going to fall.”
“I’m not going to fall. I have excellent balance.” He wobbles and catches himself. “Okay, I have moderate balance. But that’s not the point. The point is—” He gestures dramatically at me. “Banks has something to say.”
Every head in the room turns toward me.
I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him slowly and painfully and enjoy every second of it.
“I don’t have anything to say.”
Logan’s expression softens slightly. “Come on, man. Clear the air. We’re all here. We’re all listening. And no one’s going anywhere until these pedicures are done, so you’ve got a captive audience.”
He’s not wrong. And maybe—maybe—this is something I need to do.
I take a breath and look around at the faces watching me. “Fine.” I clear my throat. “I, uh… I owe you guys an apology.”
Silence. Even Grayson stops twitching.
“The thing with Winnie—it started fake. That part’s true. She was having problems with some of you—” I carefully don’t look at Grayson, who has the decency to look ashamed— “and we came up with a plan to get everyone to back off. It was supposed to be temporary. Just so she could do her job in peace.”
“But it didn’t stay fake,” Zayden adds quietly.
“No. It didn’t.” I run a hand through my hair. “I fell for her. For real. And I should have told you guys that. I should have been honest instead of letting you think… whatever you thought.”
“Wethought you were happy,” Archer says. “That’s what we thought.”
“I was happy. I am happy. I just—” I struggle for the right words. “I’m not good at this. Talking about, uh, feelings. Letting people in. After growing up in foster care and group homes, I spent most of my life convinced that everyone would leave eventually, so I never bothered getting close to anyone.”
The room is quiet now. Even the technicians have paused their work, sensing the shift in atmosphere.
“But you guys…” I look at them—at Zayden, who’s been my friend since day one; at Archer, who gives advice without judgment; at Logan, who never stops trying to include me no matter how many times I push him away. “You guys are the closest thing I’ve ever had to a family. And I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I made you feel played. That wasn’t fair.”
More silence. Then Logan starts clapping.
“That was beautiful, man. Truly. I’m getting emotional.” He clutches his chest.
“Please stop.”
“I can’t. I’m overwhelmed with feelings.” He wipes an imaginary tear. “My grumpy giant is all grown up.”
“I will drown you in this foot bath.”
“Worth it.”
Archer stands up, somehow managing to look dignified despite having cotton balls between his toes. He walks over—awkwardly, trying not to ruin his pedicure—and pulls me into a hug.
“You’re our brother, Banks. That doesn’t change because you made some mistakes.” He claps me on the back. “Just don’t do it again.”
