“And I’m sure.” He looks at me across the island, his eyes steady in a way that reminds me of him in the crease—locked in, reading the play, not flinching. “I’m not going to tell you it’s not scary, because it is. But I’m sure about you. I’ve been sure.”
I pick up my wine and take a long sip because I need something to do with my hands while my brain catches up with what he’s saying and what it means and the weight of it.
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay?”
“Okay, we’ll figure it out. Together. The custody stuff, the lawyers, whatever Bree needs.” I set the glass down. “But I need you to understand something. I’m not going to be the reason your kids lose stability. If at any point this isn’t working—if it’s hurting them—I’ll walk away. Even if I don’t want to.”
“It won’t come to that.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know that I’m not going to let it.”
We sit with that for a while, the wine between us, the house quiet around us.
“I’m glad you told me,” I say.
“I’ll always tell you.”
I almost smile. He almost smiles. And we sit at the island and drink our wine. It’s not the cozy, easy evening I was hoping for,but it’s honest, and honest is better than easy. We’re learning that.
I call Lauren the next morning from the Lexus, parked outside the senior center, ten minutes before class.
“Bree knows.”
“Knows what?”
“About me and Archer. She called him yesterday.”
“Oh my God.” I hear Lauren sit up, hear a coffee mug hit a table. “How?”
“Lily told her. Apparently, she marched into Bree’s house and announced that Daddy and Syd went on a date like she was delivering a press release.”
“Of course she did. That child has never kept a secret in her life.”
“She’s four, Lauren. She doesn’t know what a secret is.”
“So what did Bree say?”
“She wants to revisit the custody arrangement. Lawyers. The whole thing.”
Lauren is quiet, and I know this silence—it’s her absorbing the magnitude of this while deciding how blunt to be. “I mean, can you blame her?”
“No. That’s what makes it worse.”
“She’s been suspicious of you two for years, Syd. Years. And now it turns out she was right. Her ex-husband is dating the woman she spent her entire marriage worrying about. That’s, uh—that’s rough. For her.”
“I know.”
“She’s probably furious.”
“Archer said she was calm on the phone.”
“Calm is worse than furious. Calm means she’s already talked to a lawyer.” Lauren takes a breath. “She’s going to want to punish you. Both of you. Not because she’s evil—but becauseshe’s hurt, and she’s been sitting on this hurt for six years, and she just got confirmation that every fear she ever had was justified.”
I lean my forehead against the steering wheel. “I feel like the worst person alive.”
