Okay, that came out way louder than I’d intended. I pulled back from his arms, taking in the puzzled expression on hisface. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I just…Well, I’m not,” I said definitively. “And I just thought you should know.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding slowly, his eyebrows twitching. “Why did Jo think you were?”
I gave a sharp laugh. Goddamn small towns and their fiendish need for gossip and assumptions. “Because I got sick after the haggis tasting. Because apparently a girl can’t throw up some sheep’s stomach in peace without being accused of being with child.”
“So it was just a bad reaction to the food?”
“And the stress and the fact that the weather got pretty warm today and I hadn’t had enough water. Combine all that, and things just weren’t sitting right.”
He stroked my hair behind my ear. “You’re absolutely sure you’re not?—”
“I’m positive,” I said firmly, squeezing his hand.
“Okay,” he said after a hollow beat. A small smile curled up the side of his face. “Was that what you were so worried about telling me? Did you think I’d be upset? I’m not—honestly, it’s probably better this way.”
Relief filled me. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear you say that.”
“Our relationship is still so new,” he continued, tilting my chin up to peck my lips. “I know how this marriage started—hard and fast.” He huffed a laugh. “Jumping right into having a baby definitely would have been rushing things.”
My heart fell. Oh, no. Here we go.
“It’s okay,” he insisted, pulling me close. Kissing my forehead. My eyelids. The bridge of my nose. “I mean, I know you’ve said you want kids. But we haven’t even talked about if we’re ready for them now, or how having a baby might impact our plans. I know how important grad school is to you. There’s no rush.”
I shook my head, my thoughts unspooling.
“If you’re not pregnant yet, then we can take our time,” he continued. “Maybe wait a year or two. That way you have time to finish school before the all-night feedings kick in.”
There was a teasing note to his words, like he thought saying all of this washelping. A tear slipped down my cheek. I swiped it away hastily. Years. I’d spent years getting right with this and now? “You don’t understand,” I said thickly. I reallywasgoing to be sick again. “It’s not just that I’m not pregnant, Weston. It’s that I never will be.”
His eyebrow arched. “I don’t…understand.”
I played with a loose thread on his jeans. “Remember that car accident I told you about?” I glanced up. “The one that happened my senior year of high school?”
He nodded.
“The internal injuries were…severe. The doctors told me then that I’ll never be able to carry a pregnancy to term. It’s not just a difficult thing, it’s impossible. I canneverhave a baby.” And that was the sole reason I knew this would never have worked between us long term. Because I couldn’t give him the one thing I knew he wanted. The one thing that was important to him and Pete. Legacy through family. I couldn’t give him the next generation of Kincaids. Physically, I just couldn’t do it. “I know how important passing all this on one day is to you?—”
“Wait,” he interrupted, shaking his head, pulling back from me completely. “You’ve known this all along. So you lied to me?”
It wasn’t just the words that stung but his accusing tone. I fought to keep the tremble out of my voice. “Of course I didn’t lie to you,” I said. “You asked me to marry you. We talked terms and came to an agreement. Six months. Divorce. Remember?” His jaw ticked, and frustration inched up my spine. “There was nothing in this deal about children or me needing to provide you an heir or, you know, me providing details on my medical history. Let’s not get this twisted.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he said. “I didn’t go into this expecting us to have children. But you told me youwantedkids. That you’ve always wanted a big family.”
“Which is true,” I said. That desire had never changed. I’d always wanted a family. What the accident took from me was the chance to bear children of my own. My exes had both dumped me over it, and I’d been on enough first dates to know it was important to the majority of guys I’d met. But I still loved children and even dreamed of an alternate reality where that hadn’t been taken away from me.
“Yes, but you never clarified that youcouldn’thave them.”
Frustration started to burn through my sadness. “Because that wasn’t something you needed to know at the time. So if you thought me wanting kids equated to me being able to pop out five or six of them, that was an assumptionyoumade.”
“Well, of course it was a fucking assumption I made,” he said, his voice rising. “Because you never said otherwise!” He jumped to his feet, startling me. “Not even when we were in bed and I asked you about the scar.”
I was on my feet in an instant, arms crossed. I wasn’t about to let him talk down to me. “Excuse me if it’s not the easiest thing to talk about, especially with someone like you.”
His eyes narrowed as his voice dropped. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, please, Weston. You can barely admit how much you miss Pete. Talking about emotions practically makes you break out in hives. And don’t even get me started on your lack of tact. Or have you already forgotten your disastrous proposal?”
He huffed, his nostrils flaring. “What, so I’m some kind of clod who can’t handle having a deep conversation? That’s your argument? You clearly didn’t have any issue telling me about the car accident,” he pointed out, his tone harsh. “How hard would it have been to mention the fact it took away your ability to have kids?”
