“No,” she said cutting him off. “And I’m not saying this because of Lizzy. I don’twantto see you any longer.”I don’t want you to fall in love with me.But she kept that to herself. “We’re done.”
He rocked back as if she’d physically hit him but Portia knew better than to linger. She loved him. And she could never let him love her in return.
In that moment, she felt her heart break.
He took a step toward her, his expression concerned. She couldn’t let him touch her. She mustn’t.
This time Portia didn’t walk away from him, she ran, dashing headlong into the woods.
Harry started after Portia. He understood what was happening with her. Her responses, her behavior were like those of so many women who had thought they’d caught him. She was angry, disappointed.
He should let her go. The truth of their relationship would be easier for her this way, except Harry didn’t want to just let her go.
Portia was more than some woman he bedded. He’d never slept with a woman longer than a day or two, and yet, for the past week and a half, he’d been meeting her in the bothy, and it hadn’t all just been sex.
When he was around Portia, he relaxed. He valued her honesty, her wit, her view of life. She was a bit of a rebel like him, and yet traditional,and a survivor. Those were all qualities he would have used to describe himself.
Of course, Portia was more passionate about what she believed in than he was. Harry knew he was jaded. The world had made him that way, but Portia was still untouched and he found her refreshing.
Now, everything had changed, and he didn’t understand why—no, that wasn’t true. He understood.
He’d wager all he owned that Portia was still angry at him for referring to her as his mistress. He needed to explain more ... although he’d already attempted to explain himself.
She would want an apology and Harry did not apologize. In his view of the world, a man didn’t have regrets. He couldn’t afford them. They would cripple him. He wouldn’t be able to go on. He hadn’t even apologized for that fateful day on the battlefield in Vitoria—
“Ye are wise to let her go,” Crazy Lizzy’s voice said from behind him.
She’d come out of her hut and sat on a stool by the door.
Harry faced her. “Because she will be my death?” he asked, repeating the accusation she’d flung at Portia before she’d collapsed.
The crone’s smile grew crafty. She raised a finger of warning. “I saved your life. Leave her be, Chattan. Leave her be.”
“What do you know of Fenella?” he demanded, walking toward her.
She stood up, her beady eyes alive with defiance. “I know there is nothing you can do. You are doomed, Englishman.Doomed.” With those words, she ran inside her hut and slammed the door.
Harry walked right up to it. He would tear down her home if she pushed him too far. He grabbed the door and attempted to open it. The door was barred against him from the inside.
“I’m not finished with you yet,” he said. “Open this door.”
There was no response.
Harry put his shoulder to the door. Using all his strength, he shoved it open, breaking the wooden bar she’d used. He entered the hut, and then stopped.
Lizzy sat on a stool before her fire. She was staring into the flames and mumbling to herself. Her arms were full of the strangest dolls. They were made of twigs and nuts, stuffed cotton and scraps of whatever she could find. She was holding at least eight, her shoulders hunched protectively over them as if they were children.
“Leave me alone, leave me alone,” she said repeatedly without looking at him standing there.
He started for her, and then he smelled the air. In the smoky haze hung the pungent incense of opium. She’d thrown it on the fire. The scent of it was filling every crevice of the hut.
He backed toward the door.
Crazy Lizzy turned to him, still holding her dolls, rocking on her stool. The pupils of her eyes were black pools.
And he longed to stay there with her.
Instead, he turned on his heel and threw himself out the door. Outside, he grabbed huge gasps of air, trying to clear his lungs. His nerves were stretched thin. He wanted to return to that hut. He wanted to disappear in it.
