There it was.
Not panic. Not guilt.
Recognition.
And something all-knowing behind it. As if she understood exactly what I’d just learned.
“Do you know these two women?” Dr. Rothchild asked.
My mouth moved before the rest of me caught up.
“I,” I said, still looking at Amanda. “I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, I thought so,” he replied. “See you in a few.”
The line clicked, and I put my phone back into my pocket.
Amanda hadn’t looked away. Her blue eyes were wide now. Searching. Questions in them. And answers at the same time.
“Everything okay?” she finally asked.
I stared at her a moment longer, then smiled warmly.
“Yeah,” I said. “Everything’s okay. But I gotta go in for a shift.”
Protests came from all directions at once. Lila groaned. Ethan shook his head. Elizabeth shouted that Santa was coming.
“I know, I’m sorry,” I said and picked up a glass of apple cider since I had to drive. “But before I go, I want to offer a toast.”
I lifted my glass, and the room turned quiet.
“To Ethan,” I said and looked at my teenage brother. He tried to act cool, leaning back in his chair, but his eyes softened when they met mine. “You have a heart of gold. I love you.”
“Eeeew, back off,” he joked, making a face.
“To Lila,” I said, turning to her. “May your kind heart and sharp wits lead you on the greatest journey in Europe next year. I love you.”
Love you too, she mouthed without sound, pressing her lips together to keep from crying.
“To Markus and Elizabeth.” They both giggled. “May Santa bring you twice as many toys because you’re the best little rug rats walking this earth. I love you.”
“To Dad.” I turned to him. He stood there with the champagne bottle in his hand.
“And better choices,” was all I could get out.
“To Grandma.” I walked over to her so she could see me better. I bent down to her level. “We all owe you our lives. Without you, none of us would be here. I love you so much.”
A tear slid down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.
“To Mom,” I added.
The room grew extra quiet. All eyes on me.
“I know you’re in heaven. Someone with a heart that big can’t be anywhere else. You did everything for us, always putting yourself last. I love you, and I can’t wait to see you again someday.”
Then I lifted the glass once more.
After a slight pause, I said, “And to Amanda.”
