“Ethan!” I yelled and stormed into his room. But he wasn’t there.
“Ethan!” Lila called out and ran into her room, but he wasn’t there either.
My heart hammered against my rib cage like it was about to break free. My little brother could be a real little shit sometimes, but I loved him with all my heart.
Lila checked Mom and Dad’s bedroom while I stormed into my room, and, thank God, there he was. Relief hit me so hard, I actually stumbled back a step.
He was standing on my gaming chair, stretching his little arms high up to reach the shelf in my closet. His blond curls shimmered golden under the light, and, like always, he had smears on his cheeks, hands, and legs. Food stains, paint—who the hell knew. Next to him was my baseball bat, which must have fallen out of the closet.
“Ethan!”
I scooped him up quickly and hugged him so hard, the little rug rat actually said, “Ouch, too tight.”
“He wanted to get your Halloween candy,” Lila said and pointed at my pillowcase up there on the shelf. It was still filled with candy, and somehow Ethan knew this.
“Well,” I said, reaching up to pull it out with one hand, still holding Ethan, “let’s not let all his effort be for nothing.”
“Really? We get candy?” Lila hollered cheerfully.
“Mmh-mm, but don’t tell—” my voice broke off. I almost said Mom. “Anybody,” I corrected quickly.
As we made our way down to the living room, Ethan and Lila both swore on their favorite toys that they wouldn’t tell anybody.
I placed the candy on the carpet and turned on their favorite show:Masha and the Bear.
My heart broke for them as I watched them eat candy with big grins on their faces. How the hell could all this happen to them? And, even more so, how the hell could Dad do this to them? They needed him more than ever right now. They were just innocent little kids.
My hands balled into fists as the memory of him behind Bubbles and Brews flashed in front of my eyes. I shook it off and pulled my phone out.
“You wait here for me, okay? I really need to call Grandma. After that, we’ll play some games and color.”
Lila nodded. Ethan was too busy with the TV show to even notice I’d said something.
I stepped into the kitchen and was about to call Grandma, but then paused with my phone in my hand. Anna had just abandoned Ethan and Lila. And Dad was drunk at the bar.
But was I supposed to tell her all that? That Dad was getting BJs behind Bubbles and Brews? Grandma was barely holding on by a thread herself. And Mom needed her to fight for her. I was able to hold the fort with the kids here at home. She needed to know about Anna, of course. And we needed to get Dad back home before he drove drunk into some family and killed them. But the rest would stay with me.
I steadied myself as best I could. Told myself to be strong. That they needed me. Mom, Grandma, Ethan, and Lila. I had to place my own needs and pain behind theirs. Just like Mom always did for me and everybody else she loved. I would cry later. Alone in my bed. When everybody else was asleep and nobody could hear.
And, until then, I would fucking step up and be the man my dad would never be.
Chapter 17
Nicole
Dr. Susan Langford’s office looked like any other private practice: clean and simple. Old carpet. The whole place smelled faintly of hand sanitizer. A few faux plants were scattered around the waiting room.
I didn’t have to wait long before a nurse walked me back to see the doctor.
Diplomas hung neatly on the wall of her office. Family photos crowded her desk. Two little kids grinning with missing teeth, Dr. Langford hugging them in front of a birthday cake.
“Mrs. Kolter.” Dr. Langford stepped into the office at the same time I did. Dr. Langford was tall and slim, with large blue eyes that pulled your attention away from her big ears. Her dark hair hung loosely over her shoulders.
The nurse slipped out without another word. Dr. Langford shook my hand, her grip firm, then sat in her chair behind the desk.
I sat across from her.
“Thank you for meeting with me,” I said, handing her the power of attorney. She scanned it, quickly but thoroughly, then passed it back across the desk.
