‘How did the date end? Did you shake hands and go? Did you guys kiss? Are you gonna see each other again? You’re actually very terrible at recaps, you know.’
Kofi laughed as he sipped on Diet Coke. ‘Have you spoken to her this morning or something?’
‘Not quite,’ I responded, grinning wickedly. ‘She gave somewhat of an update but I wanted to hear it from you.’
After a few mouthfuls of his food, I think Kofi realised I wasn’t going to let it go.
‘OK damn! Fine. We had a few drinks and got to know each other. I think she’s really funny and cute and engaging and we had a really good time. We had a lot of the same interests which was dope, and then yeah … we left the bar and went to mine for a nightcap and stuff. End of story.’
I squinted at Kofi knowingly, looking at him up and down. We both knew what had gone on to happen.
‘A nightcap and stuff, huh? Mmhm. Well, I won’t question you any further, that’s your business and all that. I just hope it went well!’
Silence once more as we both got back to work. Out of the blue, Kofi said, ‘You are both gonna talk about what we did at my house anyway, aren’t you?’
‘Yep,’ I replied.
My plan tonight included getting home and having Sade over for an hour or so for a catch-up, then later, try to catch up with Theo to see how he was doing. ‘Operation: Make-Theo-Somehow-Fall-For-Me’ was officially under way, and after the night we had yesterday – especially in the car – I knew that I wanted to see him again. There was, however, still the unresolved family issue. In my haste to meet up with Theo last night, I’d completely forgotten to call my mum to make sure she was OK, and to find out what my dad had been doing. Apart of me wanted to call him first to ask, but I also could no longer be bothered with their ongoing drama.
Despite me telling her to talk to the man himself, I decided to bite the bullet and do it myself, knowing she’d never contact him. After dinner and a shower, I called my dad, who picked up on the third ring.
‘Cassandra, my dear, how are you doing? Nice to hear from you.’ Yeah, yeah, whatever.
‘Hey, Dad. Erm, so … what’s going on with you and Mum again? She messaged me incredibly upset because you guys had had a row or something? What’s going on? I—’
‘Let me stop you right there, Cassandra,’ he interrupted, clearing his throat loudly. ‘This is between me and your mum, and I don’t appreciate her ranting to you about our problems. This is grown folks’ business, so you don’t need to worry about it.’
This? Coming from the same man who showed up at fuck o’clock in the morning on my doorstep, ranting about his feelings for Mum? Do me a fucking favour. My parents always had no problem with trauma dumping on me and Steve (but mostly me), until it came to me wanting to get more information in order to give more informed advice, then suddenly it turned into ‘grown folks’ business’. Hmph.
‘OK, understandable, but I need you to remember that you came to me asking for advice the other week. And now she’s upset because you keep telling her to leave Femi despite knowing that she doesn’t have any interest in you any more – with all due respect.’
This whole debacle was frankly embarrassing. Did my dad not know the meaning of shame? The whole thing would almost be romantic if it wasn’t so deranged and delusional. I braced myself for his retort but, instead, was met with silence on the other end for a few moments. After about forty-five seconds, he responded.
‘Fair enough. I – I’d had a bit to drink, that was all. I shouldn’t have called your mother. You’ll talk to her for me – yes?’
That. Wasn’t. My. Job.
‘Fine. At some point, I guess,’ I responded, giving in. ‘But you have to promise me that you’re going to give her some space – this is supposed to be a really happy moment for her and it seems like – well – it seems like you’re intentionally trying to ruin it.’
At that moment, I received a text from Sade saying she was about five minutes away. I needed to get off the phone and find some picky bits for when she arrived – this was far too much drama for one evening.
‘I’m not trying to ruin anything, don’t say that!’ he needlessly shouted down the phone – as if I were the problem here. As well as anger, I could also hear the fear in his voice. He really did love her. Either way, that wasn’t my issue, as this was something he was going to have to find a resolution to himself.
‘I didn’t say it’s your fault, but yeah, I’ll speak to Mum at some point. I’ve got to go now as I have a friend coming over, but I’ll check in with you soon, yeah?’
He mumbled a begrudging ‘Goodbye’ as I hopped off the phone and got out a couple of packets of crisps, some trail mix, a couple of cans of lemonade and, more importantly, chocolate. I heard the low rumble of a car pulling up outside the building and moments later, the doorbell rang.
Sade had arrived in what could only be described as ‘sleepover chic’. She was wearing a pair of red tartan pyjamas teamed with a bright-orange platform Crocs, complete with a red silk bonnet over her hair and a brown fur coat. It was fantastic.
‘Don’t even start, my friend,’ Sade said, walking past me and into the living room. My face must have said it all already. ‘To be honest, it’s no biggie – I drove here and I couldn’t bebothered to dress up, man.’ I didn’t care how she chose to show up; all that mattered was that she was now living closer to me.
She dove into the snacks as I opened my can of lemonade – the look of nothing but pure judgement written all over my face. I sat down opposite her in silence, looking at her up and down and she munched on a packet of crisps.
‘Ahem. Some of us are waiting, you know,’ I said finally.
Sade stopped mid-bite, confused. ‘Waiting for?’
‘The GIST!’ I shouted eventually, seeing that she still didn’t understand. Toby – who had been asleep nearby, stirred at the extra noise, and trotted off into my bedroom. He wasn’t here for the gossip exchange, it seemed.
