It was quick, but I saw the subtle smile that emerged from her lips.
‘First of all, your dad’s not invited to the wedding. Let’s start there.’ We laughed in unison.
‘Secondly, I wouldn’t care what he does – as long as it’s legal, he earns enough to take care of you, and most importantly, he makes you happy. That’s what really matters!’
I side-eyed this slightly. It sounded good in practice, but in reality …
‘So! Does this mean you do have someone in mind then?’ Her eyes widened, full of excitement.
‘Mm. Maybe; we’ll see,’ I muttered quietly. My mum’s response had made me feel a tiny bit more confident about what I had been planning to do, but I still felt awkward.
After what I had put him through, what if he rejected me?
‘Well, that’s wonderful!’ my mum practically yelled, throwing her dress down and clapping her hands. ‘I won’t ask you to elaborate; I just hope he has a corporate job and is tall. Is he from a good family? Are they Ghanaians too? Hopefully he’ll be ready to settle down too!’
This woman.
I got home that evening, fuelled by determination and just the right amount of desperation. Reaching out to Theo directly was out of the question; the thought of being ignored twisted my stomach. But he wouldn’t ignore a potential job opportunity, would he? With Toby snoring obliviously at my feet, I opened theOuiMeetapp and pulled up his profile. My fingers hovered for a moment before I took the plunge. This was it – my last shot. If he rejected me here, then it was over. Done. But if he didn’t … maybe, just maybe, the door between us wasn’t fully closed.
I scrolled through to his menu and clicked on the ‘One-off special event (weddings, school reunions etc) – £500 + expenses’ option. I clicked it, opened his calendar for the 30th of May and quickly transferred the £500 from my savings account into my current account before confirming the booking. Now all I had to do was wait.
Three days later, and no response from Theo. Normally, he was good at responding as soon as I made a booking, so I wasn’t sure whether to note ‘no response’ as a good thing. The booking still appeared in my calendar as ‘confirmed’ on the app, so that was something, I supposed. The wedding was in ten days, so there was still a bit of time for him to respond.I tried not to think about him as I went about my normal routine at work, making sure to lock in especially at work; I started working through lunch again, and stayed behind to start on new referrals for the following day. I needed distraction, and the spring influx of new patients – alongside Kofi’s one week annual leave – provided me with enough to do to stop from catastrophising. I also tried to be as proactive as possible, even going so far as to look up other profiles onOuiMeetin the event that Theo cancelled at the last minute. I’d narrowed down my results to three other potential guys:
Prophet, 33 from Dulwich
Chad Thrustworthy, 35 from Chiswick(What can I say? I like a pun)
Pretty Ricky, 32 from Stoke Newington
All corny. But they were all also incredibly handsome and well dressed from what I could see on their profiles. They would all do, for that night, anyway; I’d bookmarked them just in case.
It was now exactly a week until the wedding, and still no word from Theo, understandably. I had been checking his Instagram all week, and had seen various Instagram stories of him at dinner, and playing football with his friends after work, confirming that he was just ignoring me all along. Dismayed, I logged intoOuiMeetand clicked onto Chad Thrustworthy’s profile. He would have to do for the wedding.
I was just about to tap on his profile when my phone buzzed, blaring theOuiMeetnotification like it was trying to startle me into cardiac arrest. I practically launched it onto the bed. Great – exactly the kind of calm, composed energy I wanted to bring into this emotionally reckless decision.
I slowly picked up the phone, navigating to myOuiMeetinbox, and saw that there was a message from Theo; however, it looked like an automated message. Great. It was probably amessage to say he had declined the booking request – or worse, that he had blocked my account.
I squinted through one eye, as I clicked on the auto-reply, preparing for the humiliation of being rejected yet again:
Jericho has applied a 50% discount code to your booking, Therefore you will only be charged £250 for this service.
I rubbed my eyes and looked at the message again. Had he forgiven me? I supposed it meant that he had in fact accepted the booking? I couldn’t allow myself to feel a full sense of relief; I wasn’t out of the woods yet. I had to confirm. Sitting upright, I quickly typed him a message, praying that he was still online.
Hey Theo, thanks for the discount. Um … does this mean you’ll be my plus one for the wedding? I’d really love for you to come with me, and meet my family. I hope you’ve been well. Cassie x
I held back, careful not to say too much too soon – I didn’t want to scare him off. But deep down, I hoped we’d get the chance to talk properly. There were things I needed to say, and they’d been sitting heavy on my chest for far too long. Luckily, minutes later he had sent a response:
Hi Cassandra. I’ve been well, thanks. I hope you have too. May I please have the time of the wedding, as well as the location? I can drive to your place about an hour beforehand so we can go through any last-minute details, and then I will drive us there.
I don’t know what I had been anticipating, but it wasn’t that. His response was cold and formal, yet he had agreed to come along, so I couldn’t really gauge where his head was at. Was he pissed off at me or not? I quickly responded, matching his energy:
Thanks, Theo. Details below:
Ceremony (11 a.m.) – Emmanuel Gateway Church, 376 Lee High Street, SE12 8RS
Reception (1 p.m. – late) – The Dixon Hotel, Tower Bridge, SE1 2JX
I’m looking forward to seeing you; it would be good to talk. Cassie x
