“Oh—uh—Jesus—!” I recoiled.
“Charles!?” Ophelia sputtered before snatching up the ginormous bottle of champagne on the table by the fireplace, popping the cork, pouring a glass, and downing it in one go. As far as I knew, alcohol was forbidden if you wanted to get intoMormonland,but she didn’t care.
Charles shrugged and continued talking hotels with Hunter, like his girlfriend hadn’t just whipped out her titties.
“I made this one here in four different colors,” Gemma continued. “It’s Charlie’s favorite.”
“I bet,” I said, diverting my eyes to the ceiling, the floor, anything that didn’t have nipples.
“Has thirty-four different components, including this nifty little clasp for ease-of-access.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “If you catch my drift.”
Oh, I caught it, alright. That was the last time I purposely tried to make conversation for shits and giggles. Seemed like no matter where I went or what I was doing, women couldn’t help but show me their bras.
chapter 16
EAT THE FUCKING CUPCAKE
Maggie
“Hey Mom,look, I made your favorite Christmas cupcakes.” I held out the platter of perfectly decorated cupcakes topped with little Mr. & Mrs. Santa Claus figurines, tiny reindeer, and even a few elves working away at their toy stations. I hated every second of making them. But she was still my mom—and even though I despised how Christmas was an amalgamation of pagan practices stolen for the sake of Christianity, I wanted to do something to show her I was fine with a little of Christmas at my Yule party.
“Oh, how sweet, thank you, dear.” She took a sip of champagne before picking up a cupcake.
My breath held as she clasped the cupcake liner with her red-and-white striped nails, peeled it back, and took a bite.
At first, I thought I’d done it—I’d given her something that would make her at least a little thankful for the work I put into it tonight. But it was a short-lived dream.
“Oh, honey. Your frosting’s a little dry, and you could have addedmore vanilla, they’re a bit bland, and frankly your little… elves, are they? They look like demons.” She scrunched up her face and chuckled, eyeing Annie and the others as she set the half-eaten cupcake back on the platter before dusting the crumbs from her fingers and returning to Jeremiah and his wife by the fireplace.
Graham caught the entire exchange and marched over to my mother.
Oh, God.
He said something my mom didn’t like, but I could barely hear him, so I leaned out of the kitchen.
“…she worked really hard on making today a special day for you and your family, and I can’t stand to see her heartbroken. So the least you could do is put on a fake smile and eat thefuckingcupcake without any complaints. Got it? She’s barely holding it together as it is. At first, I thought she was overreacting—until I actually met you. She wasn’t. The way you put everyone else on a pedestal except her, I’m surprised she’s even allowed you into her home. Cause I sure as hell wouldn’t allow you in mine.”
“Well, I never?—”
“I’m not done speaking,” he said, aggravation etched in his brow. “If she ever did want to invite you back, I’ll make sure to talk her out of it—show some fucking appreciation.”
Mom stood appalled, smoothing her short brown hair before holding hand on her heart like he’d just slapped her.
“Do you speak to all women like that… Officer… Locke?” she said like bringing his profession into it was some sort of threat.
His eyebrow rose. “Only if they deserve it.”
“…and your commanding officer is aware?”
Oh God, Mom, what are you doing?
“Yes, he’sveryaware.”
“It doesn’t bother him?”
“Look, lady, apparently not… because he keeps calling me back for photoshoots and stripteases to make money for the goddamn precinct.”
No.Nononononononono!Why’d you have to say that? You were doing so well.
