I made it sound like it was no big deal, but it was, including the 'usual death threats.' He was trying to do his job. As far as I knew, he did it well. Of course, people always took exception to things like that, because generally speaking, people suck.
"That would explain why some of the clothes I ordered looked like they'd been pulled out of bags and moved around. I thought the store packed them a little rough." She wrinkled her nose.
"No, they would have been checking them for explosives," I said, scratching the back of my neck. "I'm guessing they didn't find any."
She blinked at me slowly a couple of times. "Someone could have put explosives in my underwear order?"
I stepped over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "They could have. That's what security is there for, to make sure it didn't get to us. To you or me." I threw in a smirk.
"Or Leif or Forrest," she said, daring me to contradict her.
"Yeah, if they get blown up, we'll go too," I said, fighting back an actual grin. "I refuse to go down with them."
"You're so sentimental," she teased.
I placed a finger over her lips. "Don't tell anyone. It's easier if they all think I'm an asshole. People tend to keep their distance then."
I glanced away so I didn't see sympathy in her eyes. I hated that expression more than I hated, well, hate. I didn't want people feeling bad for me. I could do that fine for myself. Wallowing was one of my superpowers. How else was I supposed to maintain my grumpy asshole persona?
"I don't think you're as big a prick as you let on," she said.
"No," I agreed. "I'm a bigger prick, with a bigger prick." I slid my hips back and forth a couple of times, thrusting out my groin.
"Haha, I think you're secretly a…" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Nice guy. You like to pretend you're not."
"I am absolutely one hundred percent not a nice guy," I said. "Leif is a nice guy, who likes to make shoes out of people's skin. Forrest is a nice guy, who likes to kill people when he can't throw them in jail. Me, I'm not a nice guy. My only redeeming quality is that I'm good with my hands."
"You are good with your hands," she said.
Thank fuck she agreed with that.
"I tell you what, let's make a deal." She tipped her head to the slide and looked up at me. "You teach me how to use these weapons, and I'll help you to uncover the inner nice guy you won't admit exists."
"I'll have better luck teaching you than you will uncovering something that isn't there," I said. She shouldn't waste her time on me. We should concentrate on keeping her safe.
I stalked over to a set of drawers on the other side of the room, opened one, and pulled out a tie. I didn't know how long it had been here for; it looked like something out of the 1970s. Given the way fashion came back around, it was probably only a couple of years old. Either way, it looked cheap and uncomfortable.
"If I was going to use this," I wound the ends around my hands, "I'd hook this around someone's neck and pull." I mimed doing that. "That's only going to work if you sneak up behind someone."
I stepped around behind her and looped the tie around her neck. I pulled the ends together, applying a small amount of pressure to her throat, holding her there like that.
All the blood in my body went straight to my cock, making me harder than steel in a heartbeat or two.
She stood perfectly still, her eyes wide. "Have I mentioned recently you shouldn't choke me unless you mean it?"
"Princess, I always mean it," I said, my voice low. Reluctantly, I unwound the tie and stepped back. "Now you try." I handed it to her.
She tried to copy my actions, winding the polyester around her hands. It took her a couple of tries before she had it nice and tight.
"Practice that," I told her. "You can't take that long out there in the real world."
"Shouldn't you be busy doing something?" she asked. "I see a coffee machine over there. Why don't you make us some?" She jerked her head toward it.
I nodded, playing along. Whistling like an idiot, I walked over and started the machine, keeping half an ear out for her footsteps behind me.
I was expecting her, but the air went out of my lungs when she looped the tie around my neck and drew it tighter. I turned and grabbed her wrists, holding her so she couldn't step away.
"This is why you don't try this on someone bigger than you," I said. "Only take on someone close up if they aren't going to overpower you easily."
