Page 34 of Scarred By the Ash King

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"By men who waited to learn whether I left them to burn." Leoric's good eye is fixed on the corridor's throat. "The cordon above was strangers. Disposable men. Men Varek can burn, deny, or rename once the valley is ash. The archive below isn’t. Those are outpost soldiers. Mine, once. The ones the rolls said I abandoned." He exhales, slow. "Varek will have told them I'm coming to destroy the proof of what happened to them. He did not put them there because they were the strongest guard. He put them there because they are the only men who could make me hesitate at the door. The only thing standing between us and the records is the men I failed, holding the door against the truth that would clear them, because someone got to them with a lie first."

My stare settles on the carving where he set it down, at the small dead manacles. Then at him—at the one living person who understands every angle of what this costs.

"They won't take it from a stranger," I say.

"No." He picks the flame back up. "They'll take it from a dead captain, or from no one." He starts toward the water sound, and I move with him, because stopping here would mean letting the dead keep the room. "I have to go to them myself."

22

LEORIC

The water sound leads us to a door that should be dead and isn't. Lamplight leaks around its frame, thin and orange, and stone does not keep a lamp burning seven years into a ruin. Men do. I lift a hand without turning. Corrine stops. Theren reads the same math I do and slides to my flank, blade angled low along his thigh.

"Far enough." The voice comes from past the lamps, sanded down by damp and years. "Names. Or we treat you the way we treat grave robbers."

"Kaine."

Then a scrape of boots, and a man steps into light with a spanner-hafted pike held like he learned it somewhere I'd recognize. He has gone gray at the temples, with a narrow scar cutting through one brow, and he stares at me while belief and refusal fight across his face.

"He's dead," says a second voice, younger, from the shadow. "Kaine walked out the breach and let us all cook. The Ash King's a story the nobles paint on walls. You're a man wearing his scars to open a door."

"Vesh." The gray one doesn't look away from me. "Stand down."

"I won't." The younger soldier comes forward, and there are more behind him—the loyalty of the room split clean down a seam I cannot see the bottom of. Half of them want to kneel. Half want to gut me for the crime of being alive. Both halves are looking at the same face. "Hundreds of us, Captain. We held the gates because they wouldn't open and we didn't know why. You knew the way out. You took it."

There it is. The accusation I've carried in private, said aloud in a dead man's voice, with only two people whose opinion of me I can no longer afford to manage. I could lie. I have a lifetime of practice and the room is primed to be told the comfortable thing. Instead I set my hand on the door and feel the cold, and I tell them the version that costs me something.

"Someone sealed the gates. Set to hold, not release. The evacuation order that should have emptied this place was pulled three hours before the first rebel touched the tree line, by a hand that signed for Varek's committee. I went out through a service breach with the roof coming down and I told myself everyone I couldn't reach was already gone. That was a mercy I gave myself. It wasn't true. I heard some of you through the walls. I have heard you every night since."

Vesh's pike doesn't lower. But the hand holding it changes.

"You think the nobles burned us by accident?" I take a step, and the lamplight finds whatever is left in my face. "They counted you. Lot by lot, like grain. The prisoners below this floor were murdered on a senate ledger and the fire was the broom. I was meant to die too so they could grieve me in a poster and call it a reason to keep the war alive. I lived, so they made me the warning instead. Every wall I've been painted on, every child taught to fear my name—that is the profit they took."

The gray-haired soldier lowers the pike to the stone. "You're saying we were meant to die for a budget line."

"I'm saying you were sold. And the men who sold you are above us right now, planning to do it again in less than two weeks to a field of refugees who never wore a uniform." I hold his eyes. "I am done being useful to them. I'd rather you killed me for surviving than salute me for something that was a transaction from the first match."

Vesh's blade drops half an inch. Not surrender—he is deciding, in real time, what he is now. Two of the others have gone to one knee, which I hate, because kneeling is how this whole machine started. A third has turned his face to the wall.

I have fractured them. I can feel it happening, and the dangerous thing is how easy it was. I opened my mouth and men rearranged their lives around the sound. That is the talent Varek bought and resold. I have spent so long fearing the violence in my hands that I never properly feared this.

"The archive," I speak gentler than the moment earns. "You held it from strangers. Hold it open for the truth instead."

One of the soldiers looks behind him, then steps off the door. Theren moves in to manage them—he has the gift for turning a fracture into a formation, and I leave it to him, because my hands have started to feel like they belong to someone I don't trust. I go a few paces down the wet corridor, far enough that the lamps are only a smear, and brace my forearm against stone gone soft with mineral rot. Corrine comes after me. She's stopped letting me be alone in the places I most want to be.

"You saw that," I say.

"I saw it." She stops beside me, and I feel the heat come off her cloak. "Six men ready to die or kill on a word. And you chose the word that breaks your own legend instead of the one that keeps it."

"That's the part that should frighten you." The damp soaks through my sleeve. "Not the scars. This. I open my mouth and people stop being themselves. Varek understood that about me before I did. He built a furnace and pointed it at a war." I make myself say the rest. "I keep waiting to become the thing the posters promise. It'd be so simple. One speech in the right square and I could have an army that loves me by morning, and I am not certain there's a man in here who'd refuse the part."

She's quiet long enough that I think she'll let it stand. Then she takes the front of my coat in both fists—not soft, not careful, the way she does everything that matters—and turns me to face her.

"Listen to me, because I'm only generous with this once." Her hazel eyes don't waver from the ruined side of me, the way they never have. "I have spent my whole life around men who were certain of themselves. Gideon was certain. Every one of them slept fine. You're the only one I've ever met who's terrified of his own reach, and the terror is the proof, Leoric. Monsters don't lie awake worrying they're monsters. They send a twenty-four-year-old to light their fires and they sing while she burns."

"That's a thin line to stand on."

"It's the only one that's ever held my weight." Her grip tightens. "You walked into a room of men who hate you for living and you handed them a truth that gets you nothing. You're the first good man I've trusted since I was old enough to know the difference. I didn't ask to. I fought it the whole way down here." Her voice drops, roughens. "Don't you dare make me wrong about it."