After the game, I’m called in to talk to the press, and my stomach turns into knots; it has my dad’s fingerprints all over it.Normally I'd say a few words to a cameraman and presenter, this time, there’s a room full of people.I try to pick out some of the familiar faces, but see so few that I recognize.
I know what they’re going to ask, and lo and behold, as soon as I sit down and the floor is opened for questions, I’m struck with:
“So, AJ, what is your reason for assaulting a fellow England player while on international duty?”
I’m like a deer in headlights; my carefully planned answers have been locked inside a vault.I look over to my gaffer, who is offering no help at all.Cameras flash in my face, a sea of faces with microphones and recording devices stare back at me.
“It is an action I will regret for the rest of my life.I have spoken to Kyle since and, we are good.We have been friends for a long time and intend to stay that way.”
Hoping that will satisfy them and we can move on, I smile for the first time.
“AJ, did you attack him because you believe him to be gay?Was this a hate crime?”
“What?Absolutely not!”Blood rushes around me, and I clench my fists under the table.My heart is battling with my head.If I come out now, and explain to them I was doing anything but trying to hurt him, I will not only out myself, but him too.As much as I want to defend myself from these accusations, I cannot throw Kyle out of the proverbial closet.Every queer person deserves to come out on their own terms.
“Then why did you feel the need to attack another player?”The question breaks my train of thought.I am sure I have answered this question already, worded differently.This must be a media tactic to trip me up.
I take a sip of my water to compose myself and then look out at the media mob.“As stated before, it was a mistake that will not happen again.Kyle and I have patched things up.We have been friends since we were kids, we’ve had bigger arguments over football games on the computer than we have on the real pitch.”
Some of them laugh at this, which is good.I take this opportunity to glance at my gaffer, and he gives me the smallest of nods.
“Unless it is about the match, AJ will be taking no further questions.”Gaffer Elmstrom’s voice cuts through the hubbub of the room, and it falls silent.I don’t know if that says more about them only wanting to talk about the incident or if I didn’t perform well enough in the match for them to pick apart and analyze like they normally do.
Not long after, I’m excused from the press conference and head back into the changing room.I’m the only one left, and the silence feels like a weighted blanket.I hit the showers and get ready to go home.Alone.
Normally, I like my own company, but having spent so much time with Kyle on international duty, the emptiness in my house seems too much.I do the wrong thing and doom scroll social media.The press conference didn’t go down as well as I hoped, people are calling me arrogant and smug.Saying I don’t care about consequences and that I’ve only gotten away from any sort of punishment because I play for the biggest club in England.If only they knew.If only they knew how much I’ve actually lost.If only I could tell them.I think I need to accelerate my plan.To do that, first of all I intend to up my game on the pitch.It will be hard to slander the best player in the world for becoming his true self, right?I sure hope so.
Chapter 28
Kyle
My phone buzzes in my pocket.I pause the movie and see that it’s AJ, and I can’t help the smile that rises on my face when I see his name.I also ignore the side-eye from Trish.
Kyle??
Random question, but here goes: Would you like to have dinner with my family tonight?You know, like old times.My mum is insisting.
I stare at the message, and I can feel my nerve endings tingle.Like old times,but now it’s more complicated.There’s sex and superstardom.The media and scandals.And homophobia.I want to tell him all of this, but not over text.
AJ
Sounds good.I will be there at 7 pm.Like old times
I put my phone away and wait for Trish’s barrage of questions.
“So,” she says, and I suck in a breath, savoring this.
“I’m going out tonight.”
“Oh, are you now?”she says, with a coy smile.
“Yes.Don’t wait up.”
“I see, it’s one ofthosenights then?”Her eyebrows wriggle suggestively.
“No.I am having dinner with AJ and his parents.”
“Meeting the parents so soon.Big step.”
