Fuck.
“And you.”
Double fuck.
“Okay,” I say, trying to sound as okay as I possibly can, despite, in fact, not feeling okay at all.
“I support you.Both of you.It’s not right that AJ’s hand is being forced—and in turn yours—but you are family here, and we look after our own.I have also spoken with AJ’s coach, and we have agreed that when the time is right, we’ll send out a joint statement in support of you both.We need to show the world that, rivalries aside, you are both human.You are both consenting adults.And you both deserve happiness.”
I’m speechless.
I mutter a form of thank you and head out the door in a daze.
This is all going too well.I’m waiting for the fall.Waiting for the wall to stop me in my tracks.Waiting for the world to show its teeth and bite us on the ass, and not let us go until we are a bloodied carcass.
Chapter 33
AJ
Life.It’s pretty great so far.I’m spending so much time at Kyle’s place that I even have a drawer there now.The press only takes photos of us when we’re out with the public.We’ve had no grainy photos exposing our “seedy rendezvous,” which I’m shocked about.I have even overtaken Kyle in the scoring charts for the league, which he is not happy about—likeat all!He is now claiming that because he’s setting up more goals—which is true—and because he has the worse squad—also true—his goals should count as double, seeing as he’s doing the work of at least two players.Okay, that’s also kind of true, but I’m not letting him have that point.
Outside of football related things, we are happy.My mum keeps asking if I feel forever about him.As I sit across from him now on the living room sofa, with the evening sun shining on his face and making his green eyes shine like emeralds, I can categorically—without a shadow of a doubt—say yes.Yes, I do feel forever about him.My dad is slowly coming around to the idea, but is still being overprotective.We have decided to come out together after the European final.That way, if something happens, it cannot be misconstrued in any way.Kyle has agreed, but he still needs to tell his parents.I offered to be there with him when he tells them, but he said it is something he needs to do alone, and I respect that.
There are seven games left of the season, and my club is three points ahead of Kyle’s.We still need to play each other, and that is the penultimate game of the season.We are also up by +12 on goals scored.Pundits and the media are calling it the most exciting title race in years, and are—quite rightly—praising us with every superlative.
Our next game is against a team that often finishes in the middle of the league table, the Potters.They’re a slow and methodical team who try their hardest to dig their heels in and stop us from playing.It worked for them in the away leg.We came away with a 2–2 draw.Not my finest performance—I got a yellow card for disagreeing with the ref’s decision.
The sun moves its way across the room, creating long shadows on the hardwood floor.Kyle is still in his own world, listening to one of his “classic rock” albums on his vinyl player.I breathe out a sigh of contentment and put my legs under his.
He strokes my inner thigh with the tips of his fingers, sending waves of pleasure through my body.I move closer to him and envelop him in a hug.He leans back, I run my hand through his hair and gently kiss his neck.
“This is nice,” I say, wrapping my arms around him.
“It is,” he says, still staring off into the world.
As happy as I am, I’m still worried about him.He seems distant at times, like he’s waiting for bad stuff to happen.I kiss his neck again, and he leans into it, moaning softly.
“You know I will protect you from anything, right?”
“I do,” he turns to me slightly, and I can see a whole world in his eyes.A whole swirl of emotions too.Like he’s trying to fight all these battles by himself.Turning him around, I take his hands in mine and look directly into those big, beautiful eyes.“I’ve got you.You don’t have to be brave for the both of us.I’ve known you most of our lives and I’m going to protect you for the rest of it.You and me, together against the odds.You and me, living out our dreams, and coming home to be in each other's arms.Nothing in this world is going to take this from us.I won’t let it.”
He looks at me—reallylooks at me—and his eyes fill up with tears.I place his head on my chest and stroke his hair.
I’m not sure how long we stay like this, but by the time he pulls away, it’s full dark outside.
“Thank you,” he says and plants a kiss on my lips, before heading into the kitchen to make us a drink to take up to our bed.
Game day.
Today is a must win to keep the pressure on Kyle’s team.He is playing away today against the Singers.They’re as tough—if not tougher—than my opponents, the Potters.Gaffer has run through the team talk, making me and my height the focal point against the smaller opposition.He hasn’t asked me to take a dive again like he used to.He must have seen how much it affected me.Whatever his reasons are, I’m thankful for it.
We run onto the pitch, and we are serenaded with our traditional song.The fans are in full voice today, and they quickly start chanting my name as I sprint to the center circle.
The tackles come flying in thick and fast, and the ref shows some early yellow cards.Every time I have a chance to shoot on goal, I’m closed down.Every time I try to spread the ball out to the wingers, I’m pressed by two or three players.It’s bloody frustrating.I can’t do fuck all.I take a deep breath; this is exactly what they want.They want me to lose my cool.People have been trying to rattle me all season, and I’ve not let them have a nibble.
Fuck.I’m so focused in my head that I give the ball away.I try to chase them down, but they have already played a great ball over the top of our defense.Fuck.They’ve scored.I run my hands down my face in frustration and let out a scream.
“It’s all right.We still have time,” Millers says, patting me on the back.
