"You've got it real bad, don't you?" Bam said sympathetically.
"I wouldn't stand in a corridor in my underpants for just anyone," I said.
Why had I waited? There were worse things than being seen in my boxers, headline or no headline. Like the expression on her face when she opened the door and shoved my clothes at me.
She wasn't crying, but her eyes were glassy, like she was about to. She looked regretful, and something else. Maybe a bit hopeful, like she thought I might have calmed down after a few minutes.
Grabbing my clothes and turning away was the single hardest thing I'd done since I held my mom's hand and watched her take her last breath. I hated myself. I hated the situation. I couldn't bring myself to hate Becca. Fuck knows it would be easier if I did. I wouldn't have to ache for her. Her scent, her touch, her laugh, those adorable freckles…
Instead, I could let loathing sit in my belly until it grew into an unhealthy ball of— Okay, that wasn't a good way to deal with it either.
"Would you stand in a corridor in your underpants for me, Hawk?" Bam teased.
I sighed gustily. "I'm starting to wish I hadn't told you that," I said. "You're never gonna let me forget it, are you?"
"Nope," he said. "What the fuck are friends for, if not that?"
"No idea," I said. "Moral support? To always have my back?"
"Hey, I always gotcha there," he said. "Do you want me to hate her for you? 'Cause I will." He bared his teeth and pretended to look angry, only to ruin it by smiling.
"Thanks, but I don't want anyone to hate her." Even after everything, I wanted everyone to adore her as much as I did. Well,almostas much. I didn't want her to get together with any of the guys. The idea made me burn with totally irrational rage and jealousy.
If she was around the team, interviewing me, or going to press conferences, there was a chance she'd date one of them. Who would it be if she did? It didn't matter, I wanted to punch them in the face. If they hurt her, I'd break their nose.
I grimaced at myself for being angry toward some hypothetical guy. I had no right to tell her who she could and couldn't see, after I broke up with her. She didn't owe me anything.
I'd still hate the fucker though.
"You know, Hawk," Bam said slowly. "You should think about this a bit more. I mean, you obviously care about her."
I shook my head. "It's done. I can't be with a woman I can't trust. Besides, she's probably forgotten about me by now, if she doesn't hate my guts."
My score for tearing her heart out was two for two. If I was her, I wouldn't talk to me again. I'd probably knee me in the groin. I pressed my thighs together and grimaced.
"If you say so." Bam's phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his back pocket. He stared at the screen. "Shit."
"What?" My phone pinged and I pulled it out and checked the message. "Shit."
The message was on a group chat for the team. It simply read,'Lori Franks is gone.'
"Oh, man," Bam said softly. "That sucks. Poor Coach."
"Yeah." The message tore a fresh hole in my chest. I saw my mother's face, tired and pale. I heard her take a shuddering breath. Then she was gone. So still.
So damned still.
"Oh, my holy crap!" Brody appeared from the back of the bar, eyes wide. "Hallie, you're in charge. I have to go. To leave. To— To?—"
"Brody, are you okay?" I asked, my grief put aside for a moment. I got to my feet and started toward him.
He waved me away. "I'm fine. It's fine. Vera is having the baby!"
