Chapter Twenty
Colin gently took her hand in his warm, strong one. "Kristina, my love, you cannot see?" he whispered. "Are you certain?"
"Aye… unless the room is pitch-black."
"Why didn't you say something right away?" he asked.
Kristina did not want to utter the words.I am blind again.The most horrid, awful words in the world. She did not even want to think them. They were even worse than the pain stabbing through her head. She closed her eyes tightly and prayed for the darkness to abate and for her vision to return. Oh, it had been wondrous to see Colin's face, and everyone else's, during the last two weeks, not to mention the heather and the snow and the beautiful colors.
Please God, please angels, don't take my vision from me again.But she knew they were not at fault. 'Twas Red Holme who had done it, though she did not remember what had happened, beyond him abducting her from her chamber.
After taking her hand from Colin's, she pressed at her eyelids and massaged them, begging her eyes to work. Upon opening them again, she realized they would not. Her sight was gone.
Colin lifted her hand and pressed a warm kiss to her knuckles. "I love you, Kristina. And I want you for my wife either way, whether you can see or not. Will you marry me?"
"Oh, Colin," she sobbed, her heart breaking. How could he ask her that now, at the depths of her despair? She'd had her wondrous, precious vision back, but Holme had stolen it away again, damn him. Her sight was the thing she wanted most in the world so she could see Colin and be a good wife to him. But now… "I love you, Colin, but you must give me time to think."
"Please don't do this again," he muttered. "Does my love mean naught to you?"
"It means everything to me!" Despite her splitting headache, she had to make him understand. "'Tis why I want my vision. For you. I love you more than life itself."
"Then that's all that matters. You don't have to be perfect in order for us to have a happy, full life together."
"I don't expect to be perfect, but I want my sight back. You've never been blind. You don't know what 'tis like. I only got to see your handsome face a few times… for just one evening. And now, that is stolen from me. I have never seen your smile." Kristina allowed the sobs to overcome her. She mourned not only her lost vision but also her dismal future.
Colin wanted to kick himself for being such an arse when she'd first arrived here. "I'm sorry I didn't smile, but I had just lost my father. 'Twas grief, not you, that caused my bad mood."
"I know," she whispered, blotting at her tears with the bedsheet. "I had simply hoped to give you some comfort in the midst of your misery, but you didn't seem interested in talking to me or even being near me."
Hell, why had he done that? Why hadn't he insisted on sitting by her at supper? Because he'd been angry, hurt and unforgiving.
"You're right. I was a stubborn, daft idiot," he growled. "But, in truth, I did want to be with you… more than anything. 'Twas simply that your rejection stung. And you're not the first lady to do that to me. I was betrothed once, last year, but at the last minute, she changed her mind and decided she would rather marry someone else."
"Oh, Colin. I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"I think that's why it was so hard for me. Two rejections in a row are not easy for a man to take. Can you forgive me?"
"Aye, of course I do, Colin," she said softly. "You were in pain."
His throat constricting, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. After a moment, he sat back and cleared his throat, hoping his voice would sound normal. "I've never been so happy as when you awakened a few minutes ago. You've been knocked out for four days. I feared I was losing you. You hold my heart in your hands. You are my life. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
At that moment, Anna, Neacal and Tavia burst into the room.
Although the interruption annoyed Colin, 'twas probably for the best. He needed to give her time to think. Pressuring her about marriage was not going to help matters.
"Oh, you are awake, my sweet sister." Anna hurried to the other side of the bed and kissed Kristina's cheek.
"Aye, but you need to know… I am blind again." Tears sparkled in Kristina's eyes.
"Och. Nay," Anna whispered in denial. She frowned, tears gleaming in her eyes. "You're alive—that's the most important thing. Your vision could return, as it did last time, after a few days or weeks."
"I know not," Kristina said in a dejected tone that near broke his heart, for he knew it meant she was unlikely to agree to marry him.
"You mustn't give up hope," Anna urged.
"I'll try." Kristina closed her eyes and, after a moment, seemed to drift off.
"I think she went to sleep," Tavia whispered.
