After supper at the high table at Bearach Castle, Colin watched Neacal as he spoke quietly to his new love, Anna. Colin held back a grin. Such opposites they were. And yet when they were looking at each other, or talking quietly together, they lit up from within. Great love shone in their eyes and in their smiles. Who would've guessed Neacal would find a lady who looked and sang like an angel to pull him from the pit of tormented despair his life had become? Colin was incredibly happy for his friend.
Still, he could not deny he felt a wee bit envious of their romance. But at the same time, he was unsure whether he would ever want to find love again.
Colin's father, Chief Maitland Cameron, urged him to marry soon and had suggested several chiefs' daughters for him to consider. 'Twas not as if Colin was old at six and twenty. Of a certainty, he would have to marry and sire an heir eventually. But he didn't know if he could withstand having his heart chopped to bits and handed back to him on a silver platter again.
Every time he thought of his former betrothed, Lady Emma MacMillan, his gut knotted. He'd loved her to distraction. He still remembered how she'd made him feel. He'd been elated when she'd agreed to marry him. But when she'd called off the wedding, he'd felt as if he'd been caught beneath a rock-slide.
Colin didn't wish to discuss it with Neacal, especially since he'd found such a joyful love with Anna. But Colin couldn't deny he missed the feelings of excitement upon finding a lass he was drawn to. What if he never felt the intensity of passion and love again? What if he ever remained lonely? He hadn't revealed to anyone the depth of his pain from the rejection. It hadn't been that long ago, and he assumed in time he would forget about Emma. He held no ill will toward her and wished her happiness and good health.
Even though his da often urged him to go to gatherings, feasts, and dances to meet a future bride, he had been avoiding social events. Instead, he'd been focusing on a different type of clan alliances, ones that didn't require marriage to be a part of it. A sort of brotherhood of Highland clans in his area that might band together for the greater good. Less feuding and more cooperation. Too many lives were lost over silly conflicts.
'Twas true that some conflicts though, like the one Neacal now faced, were not silly in the least and they had to be opposed.
Anna arose from the table and headed for the stairs.
Neacal turned to him. "How about a wee dram in the solar?"
"Aye." Colin was tired of the music, dancing and noise of the great hall anyway. He followed Neacal from the room.
Once inside the solar, Colin closed the door while Neacal poured two small glasses of whisky.
Colin took the glass Neacal offered him, then raised it. "To you and the new love you've found. May you two ever be happy together."
They both drank.
"I thank you for your great wishes." Neacal set his glass on a small table, knelt before the fireplace and added peat. "What about you?"
Colin near groaned at that question. "What about me?"
Dusting off his hands, Neacal arose and eyed him. "You're normally in good cheer, but you looked gloomy at supper." Neacal gestured toward a chair near the hearth, then sat down in the one opposite.
Taking a seat, Colin wanted to mutter a curse. He'd hoped no one would notice his bleak mood. He certainly hadn't thought Neacal would, with his attention focused on Anna much of the time. Colin was rarely grumpy, but apparently he was feeling lonelier than he'd realized. Plus, he'd had another long day out patrolling for enemies with his men.
Colin forced a smile. "I'm well."
"I ken you are physically. You told me earlier that your da wishes you to marry and that you want to choose your own bride. Have you met any interesting ladies since I last saw you?"
Colin didn't want to discuss this now. But he'd never lied to Neacal and didn't intend to start now, regardless of how this subject grated.
"Aye. One."
Neacal eyed him expectantly. "And?"
Hell, he hated talking about feelings. But this was his best friend and foster brother. He trusted Neacal and didn't want to give the impression he was hiding anything. His friend might find out sooner or later anyway.
Colin shrugged. "She broke the betrothal, but 'tis naught to worry over."
"I didn't ken you were betrothed." Neacal frowned, looking concerned.
"You had far more important and traumatic things to deal with at the time."
"What happened? Who were you betrothed to?"
"Lady Emma MacMillan. Her clan would've been a strong ally." Cringing inwardly, Colin realized he was trying to disguise the reason he'd wanted to marry her in the first place.
Neacal raised a brow. "Are you certain it wasn't more than an alliance you lost?"
His friend was too damned perceptive. Colin blew out a breath, then sipped the whisky, feeling the burn all the way down his throat.
