Colin would have to communicate his feelings for her in other ways. In words, whispered into her ear. By the way he kissed her. By the way he touched her. The luscious memory of last night burst fully into his mind. He'd had to use every ounce of strength he possessed to leave her, especially when she'd wanted him to stay.
They would be a perfect match when it came to the bedchamber. Her passion and arousal had equaled his own. Even now, his body quickened and hardened at the memory or her eager responses to his touch. But he knew she was virginal; therefore he could not despoil her.
"Do you think your father will agree to the match?" Neacal asked.
Surprise jolted Colin. "Match?"
Neacal grinned. "Aye, you and Kristina."
Of course, he'd known what his friend meant, but he was trying not to think about marriage. It made things far too complicated.
His father wanted him to marry. But would he find Kristina suitable, in terms of the clan she was from and her blindness? Or would he care enough about Colin's happiness to overlook it? His father had always taken his duty to the clan seriously. And his father had not married for love, but Colin believed his parents had learned to love one another. From what he could tell, they had always been devoted to each other.
"I know not," Colin mumbled. But if he made a decision that he wanted to marry her, he had a feeling he would come into conflict with his father. And that he didn't look forward to, because he was close to his father.
At the moment, Colin was simply trying to figure out how strong his feelings were for her, and whether hers for him were equally strong. Each day he grew more and more enamored of her, which was unsettling. He had to make sure this wasn't a brief infatuation, but was instead something that would last a lifetime.
The emotions he'd experienced since he'd met Kristina were so intense they sometimes kept him awake at night. The last time he'd felt this way, when he'd been betrothed to Lady Emma MacMillan, he'd had his hopes and dreams smashed when she'd rejected him. Would Kristina do the same thing?
Though he didn't want to admit fear of anything, that rejection was what he feared most.
Kristina had already said she would never marry, because she thought no man would want her. But what if she knew he wanted her forever? What would her reaction be?
As she and Anna sang another song, they near ripped his heart out with the stunning words, meanings and emotions carried on their exquisite voices. The deep devotion they sang about was what permeated his soul. As with most Scottish ballads, this one ended on a tragic note. Would his own life mirror this song? Would he never find happiness or lasting love?
"Take a chance," Neacal said when the song ended. He gave Colin a light slap on the shoulder, arose and left the table.
Well, he would have to take a chance, wouldn't he? If he wished to at least try for a love match. The alternative was to marry a stranger and hope for the best. He already knew plenty of people who existed in empty marriages. Business arrangements, alliances. Of a certainty, every chief needed plenty of allies. As for the marriages themselves, who knew what went on behind closed doors? Likely faithfulness was something that was ignored, especially on the part of the men. For many of the women, too, once they'd borne an heir.
He supposed he was a daft romantic.
Lifting his gaze, he watched Neacal give Anna a kiss on the forehead, just in front of the dais. He was not the only romantic in the room. His gaze darted to Kristina, who was standing near her sister. Every time he glimpsed Kristina, his heart jolted in his chest. She was the most appealing lass he had ever laid eyes upon. The scar on her cheek made her even more lovely and dear to him.
As the trestle tables were dismantled and moved to the side of the great hall so the dancing could begin, Colin arose from his chair, hopped down from the dais and strode toward Kristina, intending to ask her to dance. He took her hand and kissed the back. "I had no idea you were so talented. Your voice astounds me."
She smiled, a blush coloring her cheeks. "Oh, Colin, I thank you."
As the minstrels began a lively piece, Neacal led Anna to the middle of the dance floor. At the same time, Neacal's sister, Maili, strode toward Colin and Kristina, a wide smile upon her pixie-like face, her blue eyes luminous as a clear sky. "Lady Kristina, you have a most beautiful voice!"
Kristina beamed. "You're too kind."
Maili leaned in close and said in a low voice, "I have an idea."
"What is it?"
"A surprise for Anna and Neacal's wedding feast tomorrow. We could sing a ballad together."
Kristina's face brightened. "'Twould be great fun, but I'll need a lot of practice."
"Could you come to my chamber so we can start right away?"
"Of course. I'll have a servant tell Anna I want to retire early."
Though Colin was disappointed Kristina would not have time to dance this eve, he escorted her to Maili's chamber. Outside the door, he kissed her forehead. "I'll see you in the morn, m'lady."
"I regret that this came up," she whispered, looking solemn. "I'd wanted to talk to you more."
Her sentiments warmed his heart. "I'll look forward to talking to you tomorrow." He kissed both her hands. "Enjoy your practice."
