"Why?"
"So I can dress you."
Once he had pulled the smock over her head and placed her arms into the sleeves, he pulled it down. Realizing this was the perfect time for the most important thing he wanted to ask her, he knelt before her and grasped her hands in his. He kissed the backs of them, wishing she could know how much he cherished her.
She smiled sweetly. "You are such a gentleman, Colin. And a treasure."
If she truly felt that way, mayhap she wouldn't reject him.
Once he was on the precipice of asking, his throat closed off and his tongue felt like a leaden weight in his mouth, unable to move. He cleared his throat and inhaled deeply, as if drawing in courage.
"Lady Kristina, would you do me the honor of… becoming my bride?"
Her mouth dropped open and she was silent for a long moment. "What?" Her unseeing eyes were wide and startled. Before he could respond, she shook her head, tears glistening on her lashes. "Nay."
Her answer had come so quickly it shocked him. "Why not? I thought you…" Nay, he could not finish that sentence. Devastation locked the rest of the words in his throat, near suffocating him. 'Twas just as he'd feared it would be.
"Colin, you do not have to marry me just because we… you know. I've already told you, I would never wish to burden you or any man with my affliction." She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
Though he understood what she was trying to tell him, he shook his head. Did she not understand? "You would never be a burden to me." As he saw it now, she was the only woman for him. He pulled in a deep breath to dispel the constricting disappointment. He had to convince her to change her mind. "'Tis not because we shared a bed, so to speak, that I want to marry you. 'Tis because I love you."
"Oh, Colin," she whispered. "I love you, too."
He scowled in confusion. "Then why will you not marry me?"
"'Tis impossible for me to be a suitable and able-bodied wife. Surely you know that."
"That may be what you believe, but 'tis not true. You are a remarkable, strong and resourceful woman who can do many things on your own. How could you possibly think you're not suitable?"
"Many reasons." Tears dripped from her eyes, each one like a knife blade to his soul. "You do not even know if your clan or your father would approve of me and accept me. Being blind, I cannot oversee a castle. I have no wealth or alliances to bring to your clan. They would see no benefit in it."
"I don't care what they think," he growled.
"Well, I do," she said stubbornly. "You don't know what it's like to not be accepted. To have people laugh at you or make rude comments about a scar on your face. People must think I'm deaf, too, for they say whatever they're thinking, no matter how mean and bitter. I do not want to make your life miserable or cause you to be ridiculed. I love you and I wish you to have a wonderful life."
Her words were so ridiculous, fury inundated him. "The only way I can possibly have a wonderful life is if you agree to be my wife," he snapped. "And if you truly loved me you would not be rejecting my suit right now."
She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
Regret gutted him. He arose, sat on the bed beside her and pulled her against him. He placed a kiss on top of her head, her silken hair tickling his lips. "Damnation, lass. I'm sorry," he whispered.
"I'm sorry, too, Colin. How I wish things could be different. How I wish I had my sight back."
His heart ached for her. "You are perfect just as you are."
Shaking her head, she pressed her eyes closed, more tears trailing downward.
He wiped them away with his thumbs. "Why will you not listen to me? Why will you not be reasonable?"
"Why willyounot?"
He blew out a frustrated breath.
"'Tis my fondest wish to be a good wife for you, Colin, but I cannot. I have too many limitations. I will not have you carry me everywhere I go in unfamiliar places. I will not have you be the laughingstock of your people for having a disfigured and blind wife who cannot be of any service to you or your clan."
He did not expect her to be of service. He but wanted to cherish her, take care of her and protect her all of his days.
"Kristina—"
