"That's easy," Anna said gently. "Nursemaids and servants."
"How would I manage a castle?"
"A steward. A housekeeper."
"In other words, I would have to shirk all my duties and let other people do them. Don't you see, Anna? I feel unworthy of Colin. He is exceptional, tall, handsome, capable, respected and admired. I don't wish to bring him down. I don't want people to question his sanity in marrying someone like me."
"They wouldn't. Once they get to know you, the whole clan will adore you just as I do. You are strong, bright, intelligent, caring and compassionate."
Tears burned Kristina's eyes, and she shook her head. "You are too kind."
"Neacal says Colin is smitten with you."
Kristina truly felt he was, but that didn't make things easier. "Colin asked me to marry him," she confessed, her heart breaking anew.
"Good heavens. That's wonderful! What did you say?" Anna sounded so joyful, such a contrast to how Kristina felt, that her sorrow compounded.
"Nay."
"Why?"
Kristina exhaled loudly and turned onto her other side, away from Anna. "I've already told you. 'Tis over now. He's gone back home. He will soon forget about me." Her throat ached. She wished Anna would leave the room so she could cry her eyes out yet again.
Anna blew out a breath. "I doubt that. An important consideration… you could be with child."
She had already thought of that. "'Tis possible. We'll find out soon, I imagine. I'm sorry I've disappointed you, Anna."
"You haven't. You've disappointed yourself though. You've chosen misery instead of happiness for no reason."
"There are plenty of reasons." Annoyance jabbed at her, for she knew she wasn't imagining things. "For instance, before I was injured I had several suitors, and since then, none. No man with his wits about him wants to be saddled with me."
Anna stroked her back, no doubt trying to soothe her. "Colin isn't like those men. He cares deeply about you."
Kristina knew it was true, but that had never been in question. "And I care about him, which is why I refuse to drag him down." She had to talk about something else before she went mad with frustration. "How was your wedding night?"
Anna let loose a brief chuckle. "I ken what you're about. 'Twill do you no good to change the subject. But last night was incredible, of course. I'm so happy with Neacal, and I want to see you happy, too, with Colin."
Regret overshadowed her mind, like dreary storm clouds. "I don't even dare dream of it. 'Tis impossible."
"We have both survived despite impossible odds… injury, pain, grief and terror, but it has not destroyed us. I've always seen you as incredibly strong, but now I see this one fear of yours has you trapped."
