Her throat tightened and no matter how hard she tried, she could not speak the words—the truth. She should've never allowed him into this room, for now she'd had a taste of paradise and she'd have to give him up. He would return to Bearach Castle, and she would roam around Scotland, never to see him again. She refused to ruin his life. He would need to marry an untouched young lady and have a whole herd of children with her. One of those sons would be his heir. 'Twas what chiefs required. She knew the way of things; she'd been a chief's wife, after all.
Neacal touched her face, turning it toward him. "Anna?"
"I'm sorry." She could not look him in the eye. 'Twas too painful.
"What aren't you telling me?"
"You must forget about me," she urged in a whisper.
"Why?" he demanded.
"I cannot tell you. I should've never allowed things to go this far. I hope you can forgive me."
Neacal shoved to his feet. "Aye, of course I forgive you. Although I have no inkling what I'm forgiving," he muttered, irritation grinding through him. "I vow I will never understand women."
Perhaps 'twas what he deserved, after all the wild escapades of his youth and the many lasses he'd seduced back then, not thinking of the consequences.
He knew he was insane for asking Anna to marry him so impulsively. She was keeping secrets and he didn't know enough about her.
Regardless, he couldn't do what she said and forget her. Letting her go was unthinkable. But how did he know she would stay here at the tavern once he went back to Bearach? For whatever reason, his proposal had frightened her and caused her to push him away.
"I will see you in the morn." He headed toward the door, needing to sort through his thoughts.
"Where will you sleep? You said the owner had no more rooms."
"I'll stay in the common room."
She grasped his arm. "Stay here. You may have the bed."
He shook his head, feeling torn. More than anything he wanted to stay, to sleep in the same room with her, the same bed. But 'twas not to be. "I'll be all right below." He opened the door and exited. "Lock the door," he told her before closing it behind him.
He descended the stairs and found the tavern dark. The bench seat along the wall would serve as a place to sleep for a few hours.
"Hurry and do not breathe a word of this to your mother." Korbin's voice was no more than a murmur from just outside the front door, but Neacal heard him clearly.
"Aye," William responded.
What was Korbin keeping from his wife? The man entered, closed and locked the door behind him. When he turned, his gaze landed on Neacal, seated on the bench.
"Ah. Chief! I didn't know you had returned." He proceeded behind the bar. "Did Mistress Douglas like the wine?"
"Indeed. Thank you for it." Neacal crossed the room and placed several coins on the bar. "For the first week. I hope this will cover her lodging and food."
"Your money is no good here. I beg of you, keep it!"
"Nay. 'Tis yours."
Hesitantly, he picked up the coins. "Well then, I thank you. I have to admit, times have been lean here in the village. You are most generous, m'laird."
Neacal gave a brief nod, sorry to hear Korbin was having difficulties, but at the same time, knowing he was too proud to discuss it in detail. Neacal might consider hiring one or two of Korbin's grown sons at the castle, if they had skills he could use. He would have to get to know what kind of men they were first. "A good night to you."
Korbin gave a brief bow. "Good night."
Neacal lay down and used the bedroll for a pillow. The wood beneath him was solid and uncomfortable. His shoulder pained him as it often did. The bench was too narrow and the wall too close for him to lie on his back. He turned to his other side.
Damnation, he shouldn't have asked Anna to marry him. How daft she must think him. Such an impulsive proposal. But he would give anything at the moment to be in bed with her instead of here on this hard bench alone.
Images of her—and the sensations that went along with them—played through his mind. She'd been so amorous and passionate when he'd touched her. Arousal churned through him yet again. Her willing responses to him had been beyond his wildest dreams. She'd enjoyed it and he'd certainly relished bringing her to the height of pleasure. He would've given near anything to have taken her then. But she was not a woman to have a brief tryst with. Nay, she already held his heart.
