I prepare the tray and stand outside the basement door. She could be waiting, ready to attack. I lower the tray to the floor and crouch beside it.
‘Joanna? Are you standing back? I’ve got your dinner.’
Nothing.
I strain to hear through the door. Silence.
‘Joanna? Can I come in?’ My mouth is dry with anxiety. I swallow hard and brace myself.
I open the door cautiously, leaving the food behind just in case. The last thing I need is boiling shepherd’s pie hurled at my face.
‘I’m coming in, Joanna. Please don’t do anything foolish.’
She’s not by the door. She’s sitting on the couch. Her hair is a mess, her eyes red and swollen. She looks pale, drained. Guilt wraps itself tightly around me.
‘I’ve got shepherd’s pie… if you want it,’ I say awkwardly. I instantly regret how stupid it sounds.
I notice the water jug is empty.
‘I’ll get you more water. Do you need painkillers?’
She stares at me, her expression filled with hatred.
‘Why are you doing this?’ she asks quietly. ‘We trusted you. I trusted you. I felt for you because you couldn’t see your children. And now you’re torturing me in the same way.’
She’s clutching the photo of Joel.
‘Joanna… It’s hard to explain. But I will. Soon.’
‘Tell menow,’ she demands.
I walk to the door.
‘I’ll bring your dinner,’ I mumble.
‘Just fuck off out of my sight,’ she screams.
At that moment, my phone rings. I step out of the room, hearing the door click shut behind me.
***
Joanna
Why is he doing this? Is it for money? If so, Daniel would have paid him by now. If Daniel couldn’t, then Dad would have. Why is no one looking for me?
I don’t understand any of this. What did he mean byit’s difficult to explain?
How can I be in my own house? Surely Danny has been here. Hasn’t he wondered why Logan is here?
Danny probably hasn’t been to the house. I know Danny. He won’t be able to face seeing the house without me. He must be frantic. I start to sob. I try to keep it quiet so that bastard doesn’t hear. I don’t want him to know that he’s winning. I keep thinking of Joel. He must be asking for me every day. What is Danny telling him? I know Nicola will care for him, but I want my baby. I want to feel his warm body and smell that unique essence that belongs only to him.
I’ve got to get out of here. But how?
***
Neville
It’s been over an hour, and I stupidly keep thinking about the shepherd’s pie. I should warm it in the microwave. I hate the thought of her going hungry.
