White. The white border of the polaroids from his desk scattered on the floor around them, knocked loose by whatever happened before I opened this door.
Then I notice form: Dorien’s hands braced on either side of her on the desk surface. The tilt of his head. The composition of two bodies tangled together in a way that cannot be mistaken for anything other than what it is.
I gasp.
Dorien breaks the kiss and glances over his shoulder. The woman shifts to look at me past his arm.
Cinna’s face. Champagne-brown eyes with gold flecks. Blonde hair messy, falling across one shoulder. Lips swollen. She looks at me and her expression falters, guilt flooding in like a glaze, turning her whole face translucent with it.
“I’m sorry you walked in on this,” Dorien says as he straightens. “You said this was for the best.” His voice is calm. He doesn’t move away from Cinna or reach for a shirt, just turns slightly toward me. “After some thought, I realized how right you were. And I’ve kinda had a thing for Cinna.” He pauses. “Your words gave me permission to pursue it.”
Cinna’s fingers are still on his back. She doesn’t pull away. She doesn’t untangle her leg from around him. Her eyes drop to the floor, but she stays exactly where she is, not speaking, not moving.
Tears fill my eyes so fast I can’t see for a few seconds.
I turn and run.
I’m sobbing before I make it ten steps.
Dorien calls out behind me. “June. June, wait.”
I don’t wait. I keep fleeing, my vision smeared, swiping at my face with both hands. The elevator is up ahead. When I reach it, I hit the button and the triangle lights up. I stand there shaking, tears streaking down both sides of my jaw, dripping off my chin.
Dorien catches me in front of the elevator. He rounds the corner and stops a few feet away. Cinna appears behind him half a second later, trailing cautiously, her palms holding her stomach.
“I’m sorry you found out this way,” he says.
I spin to face him. “How could you? You’re a bastard. You said you loved me, but you obviously don’t.”
“But we ended it.” He spreads his hands, palms up, like he’s offering me reasonableness and expecting me to take it. “Cinna came by just a bit ago. We were talking and I realized the attraction is stronger than I thought.”
“This makes it seem like everything you said to me was a lie.” My voice cracks along the seam. “We barely broke up!”
Cinna steps forward. “Why is there a timeline?”
I shove a finger at her. Every muscle in my arm is locked. “Stay the fuck out of this.”
Her arms cross and she shrinks back.
“I’m sorry but I do like Cinna,” Dorien says evenly, as ifI’mthe one being insane here.
A lurching vertigo makes me sway so I press a hand to the wall for balance. The elevator dings and the doors open, but I don’t leave yet. “I’m at a loss for words,” I say. “You’re withhereven after what she did to Aeron?”
“She didn’t…” He runs a hand through his hair. “Look, we talked and I’m not making excuses for the texts and the rumors,but Aeron is an adult and made his own decisions.” He glances over at Cinna. “She feels horrible and knows her actions were misguided, but it’s not like she handed Aeron the coke.”
My palm connects with his cheek and the skin-on-skin sound ricochets through the empty hallway. Dorien’s head turns from the force. He sighs, and when he faces me again, his eyes have gone flat and unreadable.
Cinna loops her arm through Dorien’s elbow. She presses close, claiming him as her territory. “I’m sorry, June.” Her voice is deflated but I sense a hint of victory beneath it. “I truly never meant to hurt Aeron. That’s the truth.”
“Fuck you,” I say.
Dorien reaches past me and pushes the elevator button so the doors open again. “Just go home.”
The tears keep coming and I let them. I don’t wipe my face. I stand there with my fists at my sides and let Cinna see every single one, because I want her to look at what she’s done to my life.
She starts to pull Dorien away. She tugs his arm and turns, no longer looking at me, already moving back down the hallway toward his room. Her shoulders are back. Her chin is lifted. She walks like a person who finally got the thing she’s always wanted.
Dorien follows.
