I pull her hair even tighter, snapping her head back again, and she cries out, “Dooooo—” It’s wild and unhinged—sounding like “doe”—like she’s not even speaking words anymore. Just pure feeling. I pound into her, faster, rougher, and her whole body shakes.
“Oh God, like that. Oh God.” Her voice cracks and then she’s coming, screaming into the pillow, her whole body convulsing.She squeezes me so tight I can’t hold back. I come, harder than I ever have in my life, maybe losing consciousness for a second.
I don’t know, it just feels fucking amazing.
After a few minutes, I collapse over her. We’re both trembling with after-shocks, both gasping for air.
After a moment, she tries to move away but I can’t let her. I grab her and roll over, pulling her into my arms, holding her tight against my chest.
I never want this night to end; I never want to let go.
She’s still trembling, her breath hot against my neck. We’re tangled up together, sweaty, messy, and perfect.
I can feel her smiling even though I can’t see her face. “Dummy. Why are you holding me? I don’t cuddle.”
I tighten my arms around her and bury my nose in her hair. “I do.”
“You’re too sweet for this world, Aeron.” She tries to wriggle away, but it’s half-hearted. After a second, she sighs and sinks back against my chest.
This is the best night of my life.
Then my brain catches up and panic hits. We… I… didn’t use a condom. I was so caught up, so desperate to be inside her, I didn’t even think.
My heart slams into my ribs. “Uh, so… are you on…?”
She snorts, head still tucked under my chin. “Duh. I’m on birth control, so don’t freak out.” She laughs, and it’s the most angelic sound I’ve ever heard.
Relief floods through me, and I smile into her hair, kissing the top of her head because I can’t help it.
I feel happy. Not surface-level, not the kind where you’re faking it in public so no one asks if you’re okay.Reallyhappy. I didn’t think people like me could get this happiness.
I hold her and listen to her breathing slow down. I stroke the soft skin of her arm, memorize every detail, every freckle. Sheshifts and presses closer, like maybe she needs me as much as I need her.
I want to tell her she matters, and that I’ll never stop loving her, no matter what. But I’m too tired and way too raw, so instead I just hold her tighter.
For the first time in my life, I belong somewhere.
I fall asleep, feeling that in my soul.
I wake up to sunlight. My head is pounding, but I don’t care.
Where…?
I sit up, the memories from last night flooding my brain all at once. I grin and glance over, expecting to find Cinna beside me.
The bed is empty.
For a second I wonder if I dreamed the whole thing, but no, I’m definitely in her room. The space smells like lavender and sex, and there are also shelves of dried flowers to prove Cinna has inhabited this place.
I’m glancing around, wondering where my phone might be, when I notice the small yellow note on the nightstand.
Had to run some errands. There’s yogurt in the mini-fridge if you’re hungry. -C
It’s weirdly matter of fact, but I don’t overthink it. I’m still floating on the high from last night.
I grab my clothes off the floor and dress. I search around but can’t find my hoodie. Cinna tossed it on the floor last night when she took it off, but it’s gone, vanished like it never existed. I check under the bed, behind the desk, even in her tiny closet. Nowhere.
I kind of hope she kept it. Or maybe it just got eaten by her room. (Doesn’t matter.)
