“Hmm?”
My heart raced as I pushed myself to say the next thing. “What happens when we get home?”
She tensed. “I don’t know.”
“What do you want?”
“I don’t know,” she said again.
We were silent.
“What about you?” she asked. “What do you want?”
“You.” The words came out so fast, I didn’t even think it through.
She sniffled. I tilted her chin, pulling her gaze to mine. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“How to do what?”
“Continue whatever this is when we’re back home and living so far away.”
I gave her a smile. “So you’re saying there is something to continue?” She bit her lip. I traced her cheek with my knuckles. “Don’t hide from me. Tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know, Liam. I told you, I—this may not work.”
“So we figure it out as we go.”
She groaned. “I can’t do that.”
“You must have some semblance of a plan, huh?”
“Sorry…yes.”
I thought for a moment. I knew she would never move. I would in a heartbeat if she wanted me to. I could apply for a job at her university. We’d be coworkers, which might be a mess with our bosses, but we could figure that out too.
But if I told her those things right now, it would scare her off. I was certain of it. She needed time to face her own barriers and insecurities. Because even though she sounded like she wanted it now, I feared she would change her mind when she learned truly how difficult it would be to make us work. And because I was almost certain her mother was in her head much more than sherealized.
I understood. My own family haunted me at times. It didn’t matter how old you were, the shame and fear of disappointing your parents never seemed to truly go away. Especially when it was the only family you had.
“How about we just do the best we can and see what happens?” I said, instead of what I was truly thinking, which was:I will do anything you want. I will move to your town. Please let me take care of you.
“What do you mean by that?”
“We go back to our jobs and our lives, but we visit each other when we can. Phone calls. Letters.”
“Like a long-distance thing?”
“Exactly.” I kissed her on the forehead.
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“Then it doesn’t work out,” I said. “But shouldn’t we at least try?”
I could see the wheels turning in her head, likely going over every scenario.
“Cerise…are you overthinking everything right now?” I raised a brow with amusement. “This isn’t a research proposal, it’s a relationship.”
