For the past three days, I’ve scoured the internet for any leads on who Jack and Legs may be.So far, I haven’t found anything because, without a surname, these are just random names.
Frustrated, I did something stupid and typed in Kit’s name.It didn’t surprise me that he didn’t have socials.
But Dandy did.
I fell down the rabbit hole and got lost for hours catching up on the life of my once best friend.
Dandy has grown into the amazing man I knew he would.His hair changed color every year.From blue to purple to pink, Dandy didn’t allow the small-minded folk of Hollow Banks to sway him from embracing who he really was.And that was someone artistic, fearless, and full of life.
Pictures of him celebrating milestones such as birthdays, graduation, and starting college convey his happiness.He has a boyfriend he clearly loves.
I’m happy to see him thrive.
However, over the past six months, the tone of his posts has changed.
I’ve watched Dandy go from loving and carefree to what feels dark and depressed.Gone are his bright pink curly locks.In their place is dyed black hair and pale skin to match his desolate eyes.
What happened?
Quotes litter his feed about loneliness and surrendering to the darkness.And pictures of his boyfriend are no more.
Dandy has a broken heart, and it’s affected him terribly.It kills me to see him miserable.I know how ironic that sounds, considering I happily murdered a man in cold blood.But he deserved it.
Dandy doesn’t deserve any sadness in his life because he’s a good person.
I slam my laptop shut because I absolutely cannot go back to Hollow Banks to make sure he’s all right.
“Pull yourself together,” I whisper to myself because I don’t need any heat on me.
Smokes’s gory death made the news.
Police confirmed he was murdered, and they were talking to staff and witnesses to follow up on any leads, which means they don’t know a thing.
They’ve not linked it to Jupiter because it’s not her usual MO.With six, now seven bodies being discovered in Flat Planes, people are scared.The media are having a field day, of course, because fear sells.
So does human tragedy.
We’re all secretly intrigued by the macabre.The endless serial killer documentaries are confirmation of this.
We need to be a little more careful from now on, as the police have set up Operation XY.A special task force whose sole job is to find the killer.
I haven’t shared this with Jupiter, but since killing Smokes, something inside me feels lighter.It’s hard to explain, but the reason I did what I did was to regain control over the boys who assaulted me.
But with two of them dead, and knowing the name of the third, I feel like the gears have shifted, and now, I’m the one behind the wheel.
The reason I haven’t told Jupiter is because I don’t want to sound ungrateful.Just because I’ve turned a corner or whatever they’d call this revelation in therapy doesn’t mean she has.She hasn’t been able to put a name to the faces who hurt her like I have.
So I can’t expect her to stop just because I’m beginning to question my morals.
I don’t know what’s happening to me.
Thinking back to seeing Kit here at the orphanage, a small part of me wonders what life would be like with him.Would we do normal things a man and woman our ages do like go on dates?Cuddle on the couch?Have…sex?
The thought of being intimate with anyone after what happened to me literally made me sick.So I didn’t.
Boys were something that didn’t matter, and it didn’t faze me one bit.
But after seeing Kit, I can’t quash down the thoughts of wondering what it would feel like to be pressed against him as we kissed, because I still haven’t been kissed.
