Iwake to a text message.
My eyes feel heavy.
My body sore.
Surely, I’ve only been asleep for five minutes.
I fumble for my phone, crack one eye open, and try to make sense of the barrage of messages.
They’re all from Kit.
Are you okay?
I’m worried.
Do you need anything?
Where are you?
Did I do something wrong?
Just let me know you’re okay…
His last message breaks me.
I should delete his number, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I switch off my phone, too drained to handle this now.
Or ever.
My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I need to eat at some stage.
I get dressed and decide to go to the diner down the road.It’s nine o’clock by the time I walk there.The place is like a time warp, stuck in the ’60s.I order a burger and fries from the server wearing the iconic baby-blue uniform dress.
I sit quietly, listening to Elvis on the jukebox.No one bothers anyone.It seems we’re all running from something.My burger comes ten minutes later.I don’t realize how hungry I am until I take my first bite.
I sit, eating mechanically.
It’s all a means to an end.
This bleak outlook is because I’m not where I want to be.And I’m not with who I want to be with.
The bell above the door chimes, alerting me to the boy and girl who walk through the door.They chat incessantly as they take a booth, laughing hysterically.They are clearly best friends.They order milkshakes, reminding me so much of Dandy and me at their age.
How times have changed.
I can’t help but watch with sadness and envy, wishing to return to simpler times.I had it good back then.I didn’t realize how much so.
Nostalgia hits.
“No,” I internally berate myself because that is the worst idea I’ve had.
I continue watching the two best friends, laughing and gossiping, living vicariously through them.
I can’t stomach another bite.
Tossing my cash onto the table and leaving a hefty tip, I leave, the joyous laughter of the friends following me out the door.
