“I followed your ex.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “You followed Callum?”
He glances to the side, cursing under his breath. “I’ve been following him for a few days… thinking…”
“Thinking…?”
“About killing him.”
I stare at him for a few seconds before scoffing. “Your family ishere, in New York, and you wasteddays, following my ex around? Why?”
“Because he deserved it. He hurt you, and I wanted to kill him because of it.”
I shake my head. As much as I want to cling onto his words so I can replay them later and dissect them, I can’t allow him to stand here and lie to me and to himself.
“You wouldn’t have.”
He narrows his eyes. “You sound so sure of that.”
I step toe to toe with him, ignoring the bolt of electricity that crackles through my blood at being close to him again after weeks of nothing.
“I know you. Even though you think I don’t. You wouldn’t have done it.”
“I killed my mother, Jude. My own mother.” His eyes penetrate mine with an intensity I feel in my bones. But I swallow down the fleeting niggle of doubt that’s trying to rear up.
“Are you telling me I don’t know you? That everything that happened between us in South Africa was what? An act by you?”
“What? No.”
“Was it all a lie, then? Is that what you’re saying? Because if I don’t know the kind of man you are—really are—then it must have been, right? So, you’re telling me you lied to me just like Callum did? Let me share a bed with a man who I didn’t really know?”
He screws his face up. “No, I’d never lie to you, I?—”
“Sowhois the real you? This devil you keepsayingyou are? Or the man you’ve actually been behaving like? The manIcan’t stand being without?”
His eyes widen. “You…missedme?”
“Don’t say it like you’re surprised. Isn’t that what you just said? That you couldn’t stand being apart from me? So, how can you miss me, but I’m not allowed to miss you back?”
The urge to shove him in the chest again is overwhelming. But I’m scared to touch him, knowing that electricity will burst to life again, and then where will I be? At his mercy once again. Not allowed to know the truth. Getting nowhere. He could disappear again, and I’d be back to square one trying to get over him.
He scrubs a hand around his mouth, his eyes still pinned on mine.
“Because you’re you… and I’m… I’m no good for you.”
“Then why are you here? Why are you watching my ex, thinking of ways youwon’tkill him? Why have you come back here after almost three years? Risking being seen? Why the fuck, Slade?” I yell.
“Because staying away wasn’t an option anymore, okay? You made it fucking impossible!”
“And how exactly did I do that?” I snap. After everything he’s put me through by disappearing, I need to hear this. And it better be damn well good.
He leans closer and the heat of his body reaches out to mine, ensnaring me.
“You want to know? You want to know how you made me unable to think of anything else? That the second I left you were on my mind? And you’ve been on it every moment since? I didn’t justmissyou, Jude. Every part of myexistencebecame about you. I’d lie awake thinking about you. The feel of your skin. The sound of your laugh. Thetasteof you. I was fine before you came along. But then you made it impossible to be justfineanymore. You’ve made me reckless, selfish… sofucking greedy. Because I want you. I don’t want cheating assholes like your ex to touch you. I don’t want any other man to touch you. I want all of you for myself.You’re mine.”
“You think I’m yours?”
“Youarefucking mine!” he yells.
