“I’m fine.”
He looks like he wants to argue, wants to force me to let him take care of me.
But this isn’t about me. It’s about him.
I ride him with more determination, keeping my movements slow and deep. His eyes never leave mine the entire time we move together. They’re on mine when I come, whispering his name. And they’re on mine when he comes, blissful release washing over his face like a wave as he spills inside me with a rich, husky groan.
My body’s still in a heavenly state of deep relaxation hours later when we’ve finally exhausted one another and have curled up together in the dark.
“You still awake?” Slade whispers.
Sleep is tugging at the edges of my consciousness. In my head, I reply, but no sound comes out.
He leans close, tightening his arms around me. His lips dust the shell of my ear.
“I came back because of you, Jude. Because I love you.”
He kisses my temple.
“You hear that, New York City? I said I fucking love you.”
33
SLADE
Jude leftfor work twenty minutes ago and I’m already pacing her apartment like a caged animal. She wanted to stay home, curled up in bed together. And God, I wanted her to. It’s the first night we’ve spent together in its entirety, and waking up to her was like being reborn into a new life and not a nightmare. I keep getting glimpses of what my lifecouldbe. If it’s even possible. But she has a big presentation at work her team’s been working on for months, so I forced her out the door, promising I’d be here when she returned tonight.
That leaves a whole day for me to go out of my goddamn mind.
I have to go back to the store on Fifth Avenue. It’s a compulsion now. To stand and watch for hours. To wait for snippets of their lives to play out in front of me. The only scraps I get.
I’m the outsider, looking in.
Jude’s right. She didn’t have to say it for me to know what she’s thinking. I have to face my family. I can’t contemplate a future with her until I face my past. And I don’t want to leave her, go somewhere new and be a stranger again. A shadow.
The thought’s slowly killing me. Before, I coped. It was enough. I had nothing to strive for. Nothing worth existing for.
Now I have her.
I pull my black baseball cap on and tug it low over my forehead, heading toward the front door. Noise on the other side of it stops me in my tracks as the sound of a key being slid into the lock follows.
It’s not Jude; she’s not due back for hours.
I curl my hands into fists.Her ex.It’s got to be him.
The door swings open and an older man steps inside, jumping out of his skin when he sees me.
“Who the hell are you?” he yells, taking me in quickly like he’s trying to work out if I’m a robber and/or a threat.
“I’m a friend of Jude’s,” I reply, purposefully not giving him a name. “You’re her father.”
I recognize him now from the photos.
Her father observes me with cool suspicion.
“A friend of Jude’s? Where is she?”
“At work.”
