My heart clenches.
“Tell me,” I coax softly.
“They wanted to prepare a press release to be read out today. They’re going to announce I’ve been living in South Africa with amnesia following the accident. Play along with the press theories.”
“But that’s a lie! What did they say when you told them what happened?”
He sighs. “They didn’t, Jude. It never got that far. My father’s place was crawling with people. Frank was there with PR people I’ve never met before. And there was a doctor.”
“A doctor?”
“A psychiatrist. They said I should talk to someone about what happened. In case I have any urges to do it again.”
“What?” I clasp a hand over my mouth as bile threatens to rush up my windpipe. “You need to tell them what really happened. This is crazy!”
“They’re still denying it. I can’t make them talk about it. No one will fucking listen!” His voice cracks and ice slithers through my veins as his next words come out as a haunted whisper. “I can’t do this, Jude. I lived as a shadow. Pretending to be someone else. I can’t do it anymore.”
“I know.” Tears race down my cheeks. “And I would never want you to. You can’t live like that… I-I’ll c-come with you. We’ll start over somewhere new together.”
Mel appears beside me, her eyes wide.
What happened?she mouths.
I shake my head, her outline blurring from my tears.
“Your family is here,” Slade says.
“You’re my family now too.”
“New York City,” he breathes, “God, I love you, Baby.”
“I love you too, Cowboy.”
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to fix this,” he whispers.
I know he’ll make me stay here if it comes to it. His family might not understand who the real Slade is, but I do. He’s a man with a golden soul who would never be able to take the woman he loves away from her family, her friends, her life. Not even if it means he has to give her up forever.
“Where are you?” I ask.
“Taking a walk. I needed to think.”
“Come back,” I plead between hiccups and sobs. “Please don’t go anywhere or do anything yet. Come back to me first so we can talk. Promise me.”
The few seconds it takes him to answer are what being in hell must feel like. Every cell in my body burns with indescribable pain that I might have already lost him, that I’ll never see him again. I would have stopped him leaving this morning if I knew this would happen.
“I will. I just need some time to think and…” He blows out a shaky breath. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Do you promise?—?”
The line goes dead.
And I collapse into Mel’s waiting arms.
41
JUDE
My fist tremblesas I knock on Sterling Beaufort’s door.
