“Again?” His tired eyes soften the moment she’s inside his arms and he gazes at her, smiling. “You like keeping your daddy busy, don’t you? Little mischief maker.”
I found him in the kitchen of his beach house where we’re all staying together, rocking my little sister, Mattison, trying to get her back to sleep so that Halliday can get some rest. She’s only a month old and everyone’s obsessed with her. Especially my father. Seeing the happiness in his eyes as he looks at her has healed all of us more than anything else. She’s been the new beginning we needed.
“You’re up early, Son?” he says, as he places Mattison up on his shoulder and rubs her back.
“I wanted to take a walk before it all gets crazy.”
“Ah, I see. I did the same thing the morning I married Hallie.”
I nod, a moment of understanding settling between us. My father’s told me his one regret about that day: that I wasn’t thereto share it, that I stood on the sidelines, watching from afar like an outsider.
I stroke the downy blonde hair on the back of Mattison’s head, then pat my father on the shoulder.
“See you when I get back.”
He smiles. “All right, Son.”
The sun’s inching past the horizon as I step onto the weathered boards. It’s been a long time since I came here. I purposefully chose to have the boat I lived on at a much smaller marina in the opposite direction to this one. The only time I ever came back to the one close to my father’s beach house was when I wanted to torture myself.
I walk up the long jetty. It stretches the farthest into the ocean, providing the best, unobstructed view of the sunrise, no matter how many boats are around.
Today it’s empty, the water clear and sparkling where my father’s yacht always sat when we came here.
A dark head stares out at the water. He’s got one hand on his hip, the other holding his phone. As I draw closer, he turns. His brows rise as he sees me.
“Won’t the staff in New York have left the office for the day?” I ask, gesturing to Sullivan’s phone.
“I wasn’t calling work,” he replies, his attention returning to the horizon as I stand beside him.
We stand in silence for a few moments just listening to the peace surrounding us. Then Sullivan taps his phone screen and holds it in front of him as the call connects.
I’m transported back in time three and a half years to the day I recorded my answerphone message.
“Hey, you’ve reached Slade. I’m probably jumping out of a plane right now and freaking out my brother. But if you leave a message, I’ll call you back.”
His jaw flexes, and he ends the call. “I told the phone company to cut it off tomorrow.”
“You paid the bill all this time?”
“Yeah.” His nostrils flare as he inhales slowly.
A lump clogs my throat. “I’m sorry, Sull.”
He nods. “I know. Me too.” He slides his phone into his pocket. “The days after, I didn’t even want to wake up. Then Molly appeared, and she needed me. I had to get on with it. I had to keep waking up every day. But it was sofucking hard.”
A muscle in his cheek clenches like he’s trying to rein his emotions in.
“You lost me. But you won’t lose her. She loves you and she needs you. We’ll figure it out when she’s older,” I tell him.
He presses his lips together hard with a curt nod. “I know we will. It’s what I hated the most, that she didn’t have you, that she’d never know you. But now she will.”
“Nothing I say could ever tell you how grateful I am that you got to be her daddy. You’re the best father she could ever have. She’s got a family who adores her. She has all of us, and she’s only going to have more love now.”
“She is.”
Sullivan turns to me, our eyes meeting.
“I’m glad you’re back, Brother.”
