Ever since I ordered the med techs to leave that scar on my face, not a single female in all the Four Sectors has ever wanted me. Many different types of species arrive on Timbur for short term, or even long-term contracts. I’ve met humans, Green horns, Gravians, Lurks…and none of their unmated females have ever felt arousal towards me. They instead remain distant, scared of my scar and my humorless demeanor.
But Mara feels different. She knows everything about my past and what I’m up against right now, and she still wants to join my battle.
And I cannot reciprocate her feelings toward me because my species does not pleasure mate. The only way I could perform sexually for Mara, would be if we clasped hands and became mates for life. But I’ve already scented her and learned that she is not my future bride. If we clasped hands at a mating ceremony it would prove false.
And yet, I want nothing more than to spend all my time around this female. In a short amount of time I trust her as much as I do my brothers. I cannot explain this paradox and I won’t even try. I am running on instinct alone.
“Mara.”
She looks up and meets my gaze.
“There’s more to this mystery, I’m going to show you, all of it.”
“Cayzor…”
“Listen to me first. Beings have died over this. Obviously, my parents, but they recently tried to kill my youngest brother and my eldest brother was banished off planet forever. The Xylan who runs all of this criminality hides on Chronos and is not finished. If you look at this with me, you’re in it, there is no partway. If you want nothing to do with this operation, say so now, and I’ll never mention it again. I’ll still give you every record you need for the audit, and nothing changes.”
Her features grow determined. “Show me. I want to help. Whatever it takes.”
“Tomorrow,” I say. “After shift.”
“Tomorrow.” She nods. And then, because she is who she is, she adds, “Bring the load histories from the second cascade too. I want to lay them side by side.”
“I will.” I grin.
And then I leave, closing the door behind me. In my pocket, my crystal is still warm.
Chapter Seven
Mara
The morning begins the way all my mornings begin nowadays, with me on my knees, violently vomiting into the toilet.
I finish the morning ritual, then brush my teeth twice.
And now, my mind fills with thoughts of last night. How I had dinner with Cayzor of Eighteen, here in my quarters. He opened up to me, telling me the origin story of that scar on his face and the tragedy of what happened to his parents and brothers. Some evil House on Chronos is trying to somehow rework the way Illibrium chooses its miners?
Terrible. Unacceptable. They must be stopped.
And I can’t get over how sexy Cayzor looked, sitting on that chair across from me, eating lasagna.
This has got to be hormones, right?
Because there is no other reasonable explanation for the fact that I, a serious professional, spent an entire evening across atable from a coworker, talking about difficult subjects, and all I could think about was how much I wanted his lips on mine.
And meanwhile, I’m pregnant with some other guy’s baby.
I’ve read about this, how pregnancy hormones can wreak havoc on a woman’s libido.
Thank the gods for the gloves, honestly. There are about nine rules against so much as brushing one of these males bare-handed, and I am beginning to understand, deep in my hormonally compromised bones, exactly what those rules arefor.
He told me last night that the Fever Brothers have the rare ability to scent their bride prior to the mating clasp. And then he told me that yes, he’d accidentally inhaled my scent while we were standing close in the kitchen and… we’re not compatible.
Fine. Okay.
I’m a grown woman, I can take a no, I’ve taken worse nos from lesser males. Beings say no. Except I know not to trust a clean reading off a sensor that’s operating in conditions it was never built for. You flag it and you retest under normal conditions, because a sensor in an abnormal environment will give you a confident,wronganswer every single time and never once tell you it’s struggling.
And I am, currently, operating under someextremelyabnormal conditions. And if some small, stupid, hormone-drunk part of me is a little bit relieved to have found a reason not to entirely believe him…
