“Okay, okay,” I laugh, although I have no idea if I’ll even be on Timbur next month.
“Give me your tablet,” Cayzor rumbles. I hand it over and he’s giving me his personal code. Wow.
And then it’s just Andrew and me, and the dark, and the long road back toward the transport.
“Well,” Andrew comments. “That was intense.”
“I thought it was lovely,” I admit.
“Sure. Yeah. Lovely.” He kicks a stone. “Bit much, though, aren’t they? All of them, all crammed in that fortress at the end of the world, real tight little club.” Something’s gone slightly sour in his voice, an edge I don’t recognize. “Didn’t exactly roll out the welcome mat, did they.”
He had a hard night, an off night, the first time I’ve ever seen a room not love him, and of course that stung, and of course he’s licking his wounds a little. So I let it go, because it’s Andrew and I always let it go.
“They liked you fine,” I say, and bump his shoulder. He bumps back, and by the time we reach the transport he’s himself again, easy and bright, telling me a story about Cannibal’s face when Zora threw a spoon, and I laugh.
Back in my quarters,I’m in bed still buzzing about everything that happened tonight. Mainly how I sat next to Cayzor at the table and how good that felt.
I’ve taken off the makeup, washed my face and put on the moisturizer. And now I’m in my favorite pair of pajamas. And then my tablet lights up beside me.
It’s Cayzor. Oh wow, that’s right, he gave me his personal code. And now he’s messaging me?
Are you back in your quarters?
Yes, I am here. Thank you for the lovely evening.
You are welcome here every evening for dinner in the compound with us.
And YOU are welcome here at my apartment for more lasagna, whenever you want.
And then I pause…dear gods, am I flirting? Is he flirting?
And then I feel a bit of freak out and deliberately turn off the tablet. No more of this, Mara. He’s not my future mate. He’s just a friend. And I need to remember this, always.
Chapter Eleven
Scar
For once in my life, I’m thinking more of a female than of my own family, or the case I’ve been working since my parents were murdered. I think of her more than of the crystal in my pocket and the Illibrium in this mine.
How is this possible?
I don’t fully understand what is happening to me but I’m unable to squash these protective feelings I have for Mara Wilson. I am obsessed with this human engineer. She is pregnant with another human’s child, yet I do not care and this does not diminish my need to remain at her side in any way. In fact, I feel protective toward her and also the child she carries.
This explains why I’ve left the compound early, which never happens. I did not file out this morning and take public transport with them, instead I left alone at dawn and I am here, standing in the lobby of employee housing like a fool.
The more time I spend with her, the more I want to remain at her side. Last night, when she was in the compound for dinnerwith my family, I made sure to sit at her side. My whole family made sure that I was able to sit next to her, they seemed to expect it and then they moved Andrew away from us so that we could have more privacy, which was perfect.
I have told myself a reason for being here.
We need to go over the archive rosters before shift, and it’s more efficient to do it on the walk than to lose an hour of her day later. I constructed this reasoning at some point between waking and dressing, and it held up all the way down the jungle road, and it is holding up less well now that I have been standing in this lobby for nineteen minutes.
Minecorp employees notice me standing in the lobby, for no reason. I’m near the lift bank with nothing in my hands, not moving, not waiting for a lift. A pair of techs come out, see me, go quiet, and take the long way around to the doors. A Gravian maintenance worker looks up, looks away, and finds something fascinating about her boots.
I wanted to see Mara before our shifts start. There’s no report to deliver and no roster that couldn’t wait and no reason in the Four Sectors for me to be here except that I woke in the dark at the compound with her name already in my head, and the walls felt too close, and the only thought that made any sense wasgo where she is.
So here I am. Standing in a lobby. Waiting for a female who is not mine and never will be.
The lift opensand it’s the wrong Wilson.
