“Exactly.” I nod. “Go. I’ll be here. Where I’m comfortable.”
“But I…” he starts, looking out at the water. When he turns back to me, he’s smiling. He leans down to kiss me, his lips lingering for a long moment. “I’ll be back.”
Aliko moves deeper until the water is up to his elbows. He dives in, and disappears beneath the surface of the water, leaving me alone.
Chapter Twenty-One
Aliko
The water settles everything in my body, making me feel more relaxed than I have in a long, long time.
Don’t get me wrong, after fucking Leif, I’m pretty relaxed. But there’s always something there, just a slight niggling feeling under my skin. I’m starting to think it will be there forever. Except when I’m here.
Though I know the water is cold after feeling so much warmth, it doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t deter me. I don’t hate it. It is comforting in the same way feeling the pressure of the water around me is. The way my body isn’t as heavy as it is on land. The way my breath is different under here, not sucking in air like I do on land. Everything here is different. Familiar.
I wish Leif could experience this with me. I wish he could feel the way I am feeling right now, after months of being away from the thing that is part of me.
I swim deeper into the ocean, going down to the floor and swimming back up. It’s not as easy in this form with arms and legs, but I figure it out. I make it work. Because I’m here. Back in the ocean, where I belong… physically. Mentally, emotionally… I think I belong on land. If only I was born a crab or some other animal that can stand both. I’d accept being a capybara. I learned about those last year. They’re fascinating creatures, able to hold their breath under water for up to five minutes and sometimes prefer to sleep in the water with just their noses sticking out.
When I surface, I’m so far out that Leif is just a spec on the beach—lying in the sand. He gave up swimming. I don’t get it, but I do understand his concerns. The animals in the ocean don’t bother me the way they bother him, but it’s the opposite when it comes to humans. I don’t understand them. Some of them scare me. Not for Leif though. It just shows how different we are. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I know that. I love learning about him and he’s always asking questions about me, which I think means he likes learning about me, too.
I dive back into the water to find a place I can shift into myself, even if it’s just for a moment or two. I just need to let it free for a little while. Let it stretch its legs—or arms, I guess.
It doesn’t take long to reach a depth that’s enough to hold my true self, so I take the amulet off and hold it with the end of my tentacle.
The shift happens slowly, almost like my kraken is afraid to come out. But once it starts, it goes quickly. Everything gets bigger, except my human arms and feet—they shrink until they disappear.
I grow and grow until I’m the size of a boat and for the first time in months, that itching feeling is gone. I stretch my limbs, move around, explore the floor and see everything that I’ve missed for so long. I keep the amulet in my tentacle, holding on to it tightly so it doesn’t get lost.
This feels good. Freeing. Relieving. But it doesn’t take long for everything inside me to itch to be back on land. To be with Leif.
I don’t rush back though. I need this time here. I need to reset. Just a little longer. I swim and swim, listening to the deep lull of the ocean until I decide it’s time to go back. I shift before I hit the surface, not wanting anyone to see a true kraken. Perhaps my family can still hide if humans think that we look the way I do on stage. Perhaps they will get a different name. Whatever keeps them safe.
I’m much further out now, just hardly able to see the land at all. I can’t possibly see Leif or know that I’m even across from him anymore. Hopefully I don’t get lost. I didn’t think of that when I was coming out here, but I’m sure I’ll find my way back to him.
I swim underwater toward the land because I move faster. I stick my head out every now and then to see where I’m at. I swim parallel to the shore until I find Leif laying in the sand… still completely naked.
The sun is bright in the sky, likely not going down for another couple hours or so, but it is starting to cool. Leif’s skin looks dry and a little pink.
My feet reach the bottom of the ocean, and I walk the rest of the way to the sand. I’m dripping when I stop in front of him. He peeks an eye open, smiling when he sees me.
“How was it?”
I groan. “So perfect.”
“Did you work up an appetite?”
“Yeah, I didn’t see any jellyfish to eat.”
He makes a disgusted grunt. “Seriously? You eat jellyfish? Poor things.”
I bark out a laugh, offering him my human hand. “Yeah, sometimes. They’re not filling though.”
“That’s… wow, okay. I guess it makes sense. I vote for pizza though—and no anchovies.”
We order three pizzas because I am starving and eating two is a normal meal for me. That gives Leif the other one, but usually he only eats half. We’ve been through this a time or two before. Pizza is good, but I prefer cheeseburgers. Pizza is Leif’s favorite food, though, and if that’s what he wants, that’s what we’ll get.
“Your skin is pink,” I say.
