When there is no more work left for the day, I head back to the colony and check in with my father. He’s with a group of males who are the main hunters for the colony. They go out and gather meals each day for all of us. Everyone can get food on their own and are free to do what they want, but these males are in chargeof at least bringing in one big meal for us all. It’s a lot of work, something that would keep me busy.
I head over there and gesture to go with them. My father’s tentacles stiffen and he waves the males off, putting out an arm so I cannot move after them, and I know what the answer is.
There’s nothing left to do tonight but sleep. I head back to my cave, starving. I’ve hardly eaten a thing since I’ve been here. Enjoying raw, and sometimes still moving, fish is difficult after having so many flavors of human food.
A small kraken, just a few years old, swims out in front of me. I stop abruptly, and he looks up at me then shoots himself upwards. He pokes me with a tentacle, and I poke him back. Hefeelshappy.
But that’s only because he doesn’t know what the rest of the world has to offer.
What so many of us could be doing up there if only we’d let ourselves.
We could have better lives. We could be safe up there, living our lives just like all the others. No one said anything to me because I was a kraken. No one threatened me or made a bigger deal about me than the other monsters. Yes, we heard negative things just like all the other monsters, but it was general. Not specific to me because I was a kraken. So why is this colony so scared to enjoy life?
The problem is I don’t have any way to tell anyone that. Not while I’m here, at the bottom of the ocean.
I should have stood up to my father when we were on land and I had words, but I couldn’t seem to find them then. Of course, now, I’ve thought of a million things to say to him. I’ll just never have the chance.
Chapter Thirty
Leif
Two whole weeks since the last show.
Two whole weeks since I saw Aliko last.
I almost can’t remember the last time I kissed him.
No, that’s a lie. I do remember it. I’ve just thought of it so many times I can’t be sure I’m remembering it right.
Who am I fooling? Of course it’s right.
It was the morning of the show, before we left the room separately. We always left separately, but that time was special—because it was the last time. The last time we’d need to hide from everyone. He’d kissed me as I was opening the door. His hand was on my waist; his lips pressed gently to mine.
“I love you,”he’d said.
I only smiled in return.
I didn’t even say it back.
Is that why he left?
No.
Aliko knew I loved him—heknowsI love him.
So why did he leave me?
And everyone else, too.
The manager checks in with me every day to see if I’ve spoken to Aliko. They’re all worried about him, not knowing what happened or where he went. From a business perspective, they’re freaking out. I guess they were planning on another tour but without the drummer of the band, what the hell are they going to do?
I keep thinking he’s dead.
That’s where my mind is now. I don’t know why else he wouldn’t be here with me.
We had plans together and we were going to make more. We had our house, that technically he still owns. I’ve driven by it on a few occasions, just wondering if he’s there. He’s not. He never is.
The only thing there are the notes on the door letting him know they couldn’t deliver furniture because no one was there to sign for it.
