During the day, we maintain careful distance. He'll stop by the healing chambers with Kaelen, and we'll exchange these brief glances that feel weighted with everything we can't say outloud. His eyes track me across the compound when he thinks no one's watching. My pulse quickens every time I see him in the training yards, all lethal grace and controlled power.
Lola notices. Of course she notices.
"You're glowing," she comments one afternoon while we're grinding herbs. "I haven't seen you this relaxed since you arrived."
I focus intently on the mortar and pestle. "Just settling in better."
"Mmmhmm." Her tone is knowing. "Does this settling in have anything to do with a certain large orc who keeps finding excuses to walk past the healing chambers?"
Heat crawls up my neck. "I don't know what you mean."
"Serah." She touches my arm gently. "I'm happy for you. Rakk's a good male. One of the best."
I want to deny it, to protect this fragile thing between us from scrutiny. But lying to Lola feels wrong. She's been nothing but kind since I arrived.
"We're keeping it quiet," I admit finally. "It's new. I don't want—" I don't want people interfering. Don't want reality intruding on this perfect bubble we've created. Don't want to examine too closely what happens when he realizes I'm not mate material, just a human he's passing time with.
"Your secret's safe with me." She squeezes my arm. "But Serah? Don't hide yourself away because you're scared. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be claimed by someone who sees your worth."
Claimed.The word sits heavy in my stomach. Because that's what this is building toward, isn't it? Either Rakk claims me as his mate or—what? Someone else does? I remain eternally unmated and vulnerable?
I push the thought away. Not today. Today I have this carefully constructed happiness, and I'll hold onto it as long as I can.
The attention starts subtly.
Warriors who previously ignored me now track my movements across the compound. Conversations pause when I walk past, resume in whispers after I'm gone. I catch fragments that make my skin crawl—speculation about breeding potential, discussions of unmated females, assessments of my hips and health like I'm livestock being evaluated.
Old fear resurfaces. The constant awareness of being watched, being judged, being seen as property instead of person.
I'm helping Lola organize medicinal supplies when three older females enter the healing chambers. They're orc women, rare enough that I recognize their elevated status immediately. One of them—broad-shouldered with graying hair—looks me up and down with open appraisal.
"The human," she says. "You're looking healthier."
I force myself to meet her gaze. "Thank you."
"Mira's been telling me you've been here for months now. Unmated." Her tone makes it sound like an accusation. "That's unusual. Most human females are claimed within weeks."
My throat tightens. "I'm still adjusting."
"Adjusting." She exchanges glances with her companions. "You'll need to understand your position here, girl. Unmated females—especially fertile human ones—are valuable. The clan needs children. We've lost too many females in childbirth."
The words feel like walls closing in. "I understand."
"Do you?" The gray-haired female steps closer. "Because there's already talk among the warriors. Several have expressedinterest. It would be better for everyone if you accepted a mate sooner rather than later. Avoids complications."
Complications.Like me having a choice in the matter.
Lola moves to stand beside me, her presence solid and supportive. "Serah is under Zurkar's protection as his apprentice. Any mating arrangements would need to go through proper channels."
"Of course." But the female's expression says she's not convinced that'll matter. "Still. The girl should start considering her options. We'll be preparing fertility tonics for the next moon cycle. You'll want to take them regularly to ensure successful conception when the time comes."
They leave, their conversation continuing in low tones I can't quite hear. The silence they leave behind feels suffocating.
I'm shaking. Actually shaking like I'm back in chains, like my fate is being decided by people who see me as a resource to be allocated rather than a person with agency.
"Serah—"
"Is that true?" I cut Lola off. "What she said about unmated human women?"
