I stopped myself when I saw Scarlett’s lips press together. “He really left an impression.”
Dammit.She sounded like she was trying not to laugh.
“He did.” My voice came out calmer when I remembered who I was and what I was afraid of. “But I guess it doesn’t matter, does it? I can’t touch him. Or anyone.”
“You might be able to eventually.”
“Yeah . . . eventually.”
When I’d first started working with Scarlett, I hoped that there was something she would say that could magically fix my fear of touching others.
She’d had to deliver the bad news that it was a process and change wouldn’t happen overnight. I’d tried a lot of what she suggested with mixed results. I’d ventured out on my own, even when I hated it. It started small with visits to the store, and then I worked my way up to a bar last year. Every time, I thought about what it would feel like if someone brushed up against me, and it sent me home faster than I could blink.
Joey rightfully demanded that I not put myself in that position again, so I knew I needed to go somewhere smaller. Somewhere that wasn’t the city.
I didn’t like how much I struggled today.
“Piper, I know how much you want this.” Scarlett’s voice was soft. “And I also know that it doesn’t feel like you’re progressing much right now.”
“It really doesn’t.” I looked down, feeling wetness in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, so I tried to keep it together.
“But you’re making steps to get what you want. And one day, you’ll have it. You’ll meet a nice, amazing man and find the love you want.”
“Your voice cracked,” I said.
Scarlett sighed. “It did. Sorry. I’m confident inyou, but men? Yeah, they don’t inspire much confidence.”
Despite myself, I laughed. “Having issues with men?”
“We’re not here to talk about me,” she reminded. “Nice try, though.”
I pouted. “That’s no fun.”
“Sorry, babe, but it’s what you pay me for.” She smiled before locking back in. “Now, you handled the coffee shop, but you were nervous. How do you feel about going back tomorrow?”
“I ... think I can do it.”
She smiled. “See? Progress.”
I nodded, then glanced out the window. I could only see what was across the square, but still caught a few residents walking along the streets. Did they worry about every other person they might meet? Did they have to fight their own mind just to get out of the house?
In my adult life, I’d never known anything different. I had to fight against myself every single day just to exist.
Beating this was something I wanted more than anything else. I wanted a normal life.
Because if this fear was it ... then I wasn’t sure this was living.
It was merely existing.
Exhaustion weighed heavy on my eyelids, but when Joey called, I knew I should answer.
Sitting on my freshly made bed, I rubbed my eyes and pressed answer on the screen.
“Piper.” His voice was tense. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“Wanna visit?” I could see him sitting up straighter, eyes bright with hope.
