“There were women.” His voice stays quiet. “But Vakutan military culture does not encourage emotional attachment during active service. Casual companionship existed. Physical release. Nothing…” His hand tightens slightly against me. “Nothing like this.”
I brush my fingers through his hair again. “You deserve this too, you know.”
His eyes close.
“You keep saying things that feel dangerous,” he murmurs.
“Maybe because they’re true.”
Rainwater races down the windows in silver streaks. Somewhere below, a siren wails through Halo before fading into the harbor fog.
Kauss lifts his head slightly. “Tell me something.”
“Okay.”
“What do you want?”
The question surprises me.
“Right now?”
“In life.”
I stare up at the ceiling for a moment, listening to the building creak around us. “I used to think I wanted escape.”
“From Halo?”
“Yeah. Bigger bakery. Better district. More money. Less stress.” I smile faintly. “But every time I imagined leaving, it felt wrong. Like abandoning somebody sick.”
“You love this place.”
“I do.” I laugh softly. “Which probably means I’m insane.”
“No.” His thumb strokes once across my stomach. “It means you are loyal.”
“No one’s ever said that like it was a compliment before.”
“It is among Vakutans.”
Warmth blooms in my chest again.
“What about you?” I ask quietly. “What do you want?”
Kauss goes silent long enough that I think he might not answer.
Finally he says, “Peace.”
The word lands heavily between us.
“I do not know what to do with peace once I have it,” he admits. “But I want it anyway.”
Emotion swells painfully behind my ribs.
“You’re allowed to have peace,” I whisper.
He looks at me then with unbearable intensity. “Am I?”
“Yes.”
