“I’m fine with that,” I tell him.
And I realize I actually am fine with it. What else would I do? It’s not like I have someone waiting in the wings to jump into a relationship with me. The dream of finding someone who wants to spend their life with me—raise a family, run a business—is starting to feel more distant as time goes on.
All my other friends are married with a couple of kids by now. Charlie and Piper and I only became friends after we moved in together, so they don’t count. I’m not sure how, but searching for roommates online was how we all found each other. But for the grace of God, we’d all be on a Netflix special. Instead, we came out of the deal as best friends.
“Do you have someone you need to explain this relationship to?” Nash asks.
“What?”
“I mean a boyfriend.
I snort. “Oh, I had to send a group text to my five boyfriends and tell them we were putting things on pause for a bit. They were very understanding and said to let them know when I was done being a fiancée.”
Nash shoots me a look, one eyebrow raised. “I don’t think that’s as funny as you think it is.”
“Well, I thought it was pretty funny.” I chuckle, then sober.
“Magnolia Hawthorne.” He scowls as he says my name.
“Oh I bet you wish you knew my middle name,” I say in a singsong voice. “Shouldn’t you have asked about potential boyfriends earlier?”
“It didn’t even cross my mind,” he admits.
“Whoopsie daisy.”
“I’m serious though. You’re a stranger to me, and Idragged you into this mess. I think that’s why I was angry yesterday. I feel like I’ve lost control of the situation.”
“Well, would you look at that?” I say lightly. “You can’t control every aspect of life. It’s a hard pill to swallow, isn’t it?”
Nash shakes his head. “You have no idea.”
“Actually,” I say quietly, “I think maybe I do.”
He knows I’m right.
“I’ve been so focused on my own problems that it’s selfish to think I’m the only one trying to figure things out. Everybody is.”
He slows the car as he turns to look at me. “I’m sorry that I dragged you into this. And then trying to break it off when Grandpa offered you a space to start your business. You’re probably getting whiplash from my mood swings.”
I nod slowly and wait for him to say more. I’d like to point out the fact that he seems miserable dealing with his extended family, and that maybe if he were to step away from a toxic situation, he would find his mood would stabilize. Though I think he’s being dramatic calling it mood swings. He’s simply stressed and needs a break.
“Yet you’ve shown up and been kind to my grandpa anyway. You would have done that for me without any money.”
“Well, not to hurt your feelings, but I like your grandpa. And youdidpay me, even though I said not to.”
“He’s grumpy,” Nash mutters, ignoring the money topic. “Except with you for some reason.”
“Maybe I bring out his heart of gold that’s buried.”
“That’s what you think,” he teases.
“I see a lot of similarities between you two.”
“Like what?”
“The determination?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he replies.
