I’ve not told anyone that I spent the night in the vampire’s castle. It just hasn’t seemed like pertinent information to any conversations I’ve had since then.
Staring down at the dappled ball of fluff in my lap, everything in me softens. “And now yet another exception has entered the chat in the form of a tiny little sausage on paws. But you’re very much welcome in my space. Only you, though. Girl power and all that.”
It’s not always easy for me to make new friends. I tend to be a little “loud” for some people, not only in volume, but in my no-bullshit way of speaking, and my inability to mask any feelings that flit across my face.
Apparently not everyone wants to hear the straight-up truth, even when they insist that they want you to be honest with them. Thankfully, I have a fantastic group of friends who don't mind my particular brand of chaos and encourage me to be my unfiltered self.
And it just so happens that all of them live on a tiny little island a boat ride away.
I love visiting Starry Hill, but I don’t see myself moving into a little cottage and living a quiet life on the island. Unless there’s really good dick to keep me from getting bored out of my mind.
Whatever happened in my dream doesn’t count. Results have not been verified.
So far, I’ve yet to meet a single available dick on this planet that might be better at getting me off than even one of the toys in my box. Plus, dicks come with feelings and complications. I prefer mine plastic, quiet, and obedient.
The black, brown, and silver puppy in my lap gives a little contented little grunt as she snuggles closer, making me smile down at her. “You know what, pup? It’s like the universe knew I needed a little wiener and deposited you straight into my life.” Like a light bulb has just gone off above my head, I smile down at the little angel in my lap. “I guess that’s your name. Anita Wiener. Get it? I need a wiener? Anyway, welcome home, little Anita.”
Chapter 2
Audrey
“Audrey!” Josie hisses from the corridor leading to the women’s bathrooms. My boss’s assistant is wide-eyed, and stress is radiating off of her like the heat of a midday sun on a particularly scorching day.
I lift my hand in greeting and I’m just about to call back to her, but Josie swiftly raises one finger to her mouth while she furiously beckons me closer with the other.
Taking a calming breath, I approach the quiet hallway cautiously, my hackles raised at Josie’s unusual behavior.
I don’t know how much more weird I can handle today. My morning already started a tad lopsided.
Getting a new puppy isn’t exactly the sunshine and rainbows I thought it would be. I mean, it is, Anita is still all levels ofadorable and she knows it, but there was also a bit of whining throughout the night, a fresh stain on the rug this morning where Anita missed the pee pad, and most notably, the sad remnants of one of my top five toys scattered around the living room.
Anita Wiener somehow got into my special box last night. Instead of picking an option from the cornucopia of chew toys I got her, she preferred to attack my cute stingray grinder and managed to sever the tail with its vibrating knot.
I called the emergency line at the vet to ask if I should bring her in, but since she didn’t swallow any parts they said just to keep an eye on her and hide any “inappropriate toys” that she could get a hold of in the future.
Can’t complain too much though. My girl’s got good taste. Just wish it wasn’t such a dependable toy that had to bite the dust. Guess I’ve got an excuse to go browse my favorite sites tonight and find an even better replacement.
Josie grabs my hand and pulls me into the bathroom, then clicks the door shut behind us.
“This is weird, Josie. Usually I’m all on board with freaky shit, but you’re kind of pushing my boundaries here. What’s going on?”
“Did you work on Caleb’s accounts last week?” Josie whispers frantically, looking over my shoulder like she’s expecting someone to burst through the door at any second.
And do what? I don’t know. Tax accounting is not the most exciting work environment, so I’m not sure why she’s wound so tight. Maybe she could do with a good toy recommendation too.
“Yes,” I answer hesitantly. “The numbers weren’t really adding up and he asked me to double-check his work.”
Caleb is one of the newer hires at our firm, still a little wet behind the ears, but oddly not too irritating. We took a closer look at the deductions made from the employees andfound they’re not declared anywhere else. So not only were they skimming money off the employees, but those employees are sitting without their rightful insurance coverage and other benefits they’re entitled to. Hello, tax fraud.
When I was sure that was what’s going on, I called the city’s anonymous tip line and reported the company. Mess with your own money, sure. But mess with the people who are working for you, not okay.
“Were you the one to report them?” Josie asks.
“I’m neither confirming nor denying that,” I answer neutrally.
Josie’s eyes widen to an almost comical degree, and I fear a fraction further and they’d be in danger of falling out. “Audrey, you shouldn’t have done that.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I raise a brow at her. “Again, not saying I did, but if someone happened to disclose their illegal wrongdoings, anonymously so, why would that be a bad thing?”
