“Tell me about your clan,” Audrey says quietly, reverently, as she takes in the view around us.
I press my lips to her temple as I deny her request. “I’ve talked too much about myself tonight. I want to know more about you.”
Audrey tilts her head back, her brows furrowing. “I’ve told you all the interesting things already.”
“What about your sickness?”
“Sickness?” Audrey asks sharply, her back straightening and brows rising high.
I wince, remembering Bodin’s warning. “That might’ve been the wrong word. I apologize. Your diabetes, I mean.” My desire to fidget is strong, but I don’t dare to loosen my hold on her for even a split second.
It’s as if all the defenses Audrey’s lowered around her heart over the past few weeks never happened. I can see her putting them back in place, one by one, her jaw firm, disappointment streaked across her face.
“Nothing much to note. I’ve got it handled,” Audrey says flatly.
I can kick myself for my verbal blunder. If I destroyed everything between us and offended Audrey beyond redemption, I won’t be able to forgive myself.
Ever so slowly, I lift one hand and cup Audrey’s jaw while I lay myself bare, letting her read every single feeling on my face. “I am so sorry, darling. That came out completely wrong. I’m not good with words and I have no knowledge of diabetes, but that’s no excuse. The reason I asked is because I care about you, Audrey. I want to know how to help you if you ever need it. Let me take care of you, please.”
Audrey’s face softens a little. “I don’t need—”
“I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself,” I say quickly, cutting off what I’m sure was a very impressive speech with proof of everything she’s used to handling by herself. “I only wish to gain any knowledge that, should the unfortunate situation arise, I have a better understanding of your condition and can help you then.”
Audrey leans into my hand and the corners of her mouth tug up a fraction. “Well, when you put it that way.”
“Thank you,” I breathe out, my relief evident as I skim my lips over hers.
My faux pas almost ended up being catastrophic for our relationship, whatever it may be defined as, but thankfully Audrey has a lot of forgiveness in her heart. Something I will be certain to thank her for—properly—when we’re in my room later.
After game night, I thought about what I can do to show Audrey my appreciation for her as well as my interest in being more than cohabitors of the castle. I wanted to show her the castle’s charms, teach her about its history, and, most importantly, make her part of the story so she can feel just as at home here as I do.
I also wanted to show her this breathtaking view, show her how beautiful Starry Hill can be when she truly sees it.
I prepared myself for any eventualities—fed well enough to keep me sated in case I had the privilege of taking Audrey to bed again, stocked more blood bags in the icebox in case our activities evolve intomore, made sure Anita had a full day of playing so she’d rest well while we were out, and covered my body with sunscreen in case we stay out late—but of course Audrey had to surprise me yet again, and in the best way.
My darling suggesting free use was not part of any kind of futures I could’ve predicted. And I can’t wait to get to that portion of the evening.
First though, I want to learn everything I can about how to take care of this beautiful creature in my arms.
Settling back into my embrace, Audrey looks out over the ocean as she talks. “I’ll explain a little bit about type 1 diabetes, but I don’t want you treating me any differently. I’m still Audrey.I’m still strong and capable of caring for myself. This is only for an emergency situation that will hopefully never happen.”
I rest my forehead against her temple. “Of course. I’d never undermine you. It’s purely to understand you better and care for you,shouldyou need me.”
Audrey’s hand takes up its gentle caresses on the nape of my neck once again. “I was diagnosed at the age of nineteen, so I’ve been dealing with this my whole adult life. Basically, my pancreas is broken and doesn’t produce its own insulin. I need injections to keep my blood sugar from getting too high, and I also need to make sure I eat enough so it doesn’t drop too low.”
“What happens if it’s too high or too low?”
“I can usually handle the minor discomforts pretty well and dose myself accordingly. The biggest danger you could maybe keep an eye out for is diabetic ketoacidosis. I’ve never experienced it before, but it can occur when my body doesn’t have enough insulin.”
I repeat the word a couple of times in my head to store it accurately, then ask, “What are the symptoms to look out for?”
Audrey ticks them off like she’s reading out a grocery list. “Parched mouth, fruity breath, stomach pain, extreme fatigue. But this is only for a worst case scenario.”
It astounds me that she’s had to live with this burden for so long. That her dependence on insulin is more severe than my dependence on blood. I could go very long without feeding if I conserve my energy, but Audrey would get physically ill within much less time.
Suddenly being a vampire doesn’t seem like the worst hand fate could’ve dealt me.
I pull Audrey even more firmly against me, as if my embrace can protect her from her own body. “How do you know when to inject? And how much?”
