“C-close,” I panted out as he twisted his wrist again. “Oleander, so close.” Words tumbled from my lips as my balls drew up, incoherent and muttering and desperate, desperate, desperate.
“I want to feel it.” I could feel his lips form the words against mine, hot breath combining with the sensations of his hand and his cock and it was so much.
I cried out as I exploded over his fist and his dick. His hips and hand kept moving, a punishing pace that made me wonder howhe would feel inside me. Until then, I’d only wondered what his heat would feel like wrapped around me, but the way his hips moved in that moment? My cock twitched, as if it were trying to climax again despite being spent.
And then he went.
His seed spilled out over my dick, and his face was radiant. His head fell back, and strands of his white blond hair stuck to his face. His eyes drifted closed, and his swollen lips parted as he called out my name. His hand fell away, and I grabbed his wrist, pulling it to my mouth. I licked our shared release from his fingers, savoring the salty taste as he moaned at the pleasure it brought him.
When he was clean, I dropped my head to his chest. His arms wrapped around me, and he just held me until our hearts stopped racing.
Chapter Seven
Oleander
I could still smell Castien on me, even after bathing in the river that night. His scent lingered, stuck in my nose, clung to my hair, and in my thoughts. The image of him falling apart in my hands was just as stubborn, living in the front of my mind. My heart raced when I thought back to our stolen moments in the wood, of the way we had to pry ourselves apart, and of the way he held my hand as we walked back.
Once I was alone in my tent, I thought about it.
Not just about the heated moment we’d shared or the kiss the night before. No, my thoughts went beyond passion. I thought of the way he looked at me and the kind words he’d given me. He saw beyond my bumbling, saw the elf I wanted to be, andhe made me believe that I could become him. No, he made me think that I alreadywashim, and that no changes were needed to improve me. I thought of the time we spent together, the ease in which the hours passed. I recalled the deep timbre of his voice as he told me about his inventions or shared facts with me that he’d accumulated in his years of life and study.
It all came to a very obvious conclusion.
I could not keep searching for a marriage at the market. Perhaps I could come back in another year and find someone then. Maybe this year, the gods meant for me to meet Castien so I could discover what it was that I really wanted in a partner. When I’d arrived, all I knew was the type of relationship I wanted from a marriage. I did not have any specifics as to the person, but now? Now I did.
Unfortunately, there was only one person that fit the requirements that were now forming in my mind and my heart, and that person did not desire marriage.
I would not allow myself to become disheartened by this. Instead, I would allow myself this week with him. I would bask in the time I could spend with him, and I would use what I learned to help me find someone that did dream of the same things I did. I also would not listen to the dreamer’s voice inside me that questioned this logic and tried to feed me lies about him changing his mind now that we’d gotten to know one another.
The dreamer’s voice was nothing but a con artist and listening to it would only bring me pain and heartbreak.
I fell asleep feeling contented, and I woke up filled with excitement at spending another day with Castien. I dressed quickly and selected a breakfast from my food stores that I could eat as I walked. For the second morning in a row, there was a skip to my step as I moved through the market, following the now familiar paths to his stall. He and Acantha were engaged in whispered conversation as I approached, but their whispersstopped the moment they saw me. I felt a strange sense of certainty that I was the topic of their discussion, and I was not sure if I liked it.
I battled the urge to question him about it as we set off. Luckily, he offered an easy distraction from their whispered conversation after only a few steps. “Where should we go today?”
I thought for a moment. I knew what he was asking. Where should we go to look for my future spouse? He was unaware that I’d called the mission off. Fear and doubt filled me. Would he still desire my company if he knew that we no longer had an end goal in mind, or would he go back to his stall and leave me to peruse the market alone? Maybe everything that I was feeling was entirely one sided. What if yesterday had been nothing more than explorations of physical attraction and he did not want a repeat performance?
I weighed my options. I could choose not to tell him, allow him to think that nothing had changed, or I could tell him and take the risk of him walking away. The choice was easy. Dishonesty did not sit well with me, and that was not something I wanted to change. I wiped my hands on my trousers and drew in a deep breath. “Can we speak first? Before we make any decisions for today’s plans?”
Trepidation crossed his features, but he nodded. “Follow me,” he instructed.
Like yesterday, I trusted him not to lead me to danger. We walked in quiet along the trail that led us from the Gearwick vendors and to the Central Shrine located just across a wider path. We found an empty bench, away from where anyone else was seated. He sat and motioned for me to do the same.
We were sitting so close that our thighs pressed together. I wondered if I should inch away from him before I spoke, but I could not bring myself to do it. I did not know how to start this conversation, but it needed to be had. I could not allow him tokeep pointing out potential partners who would not and could not hold my interest.
I drew in a breath.
He waited patiently as I exhaled and repeated the process, trying to soothe my racing heart and calm my nerves. “I do not want to keep looking for a spouse,” I began quietly.
“Why?”
“I don’t think I’ll find what I’m seeking here,” I told him truthfully. Was I imagining the way his eyes lit up at the news? Was it just the reckless dreamer part of me seeing what I wanted to see? But he said nothing, so I went on. “I still want to spend time with you, though.” I wanted to spend every moment I could at the market with him. “But I understand if that is not something you want.”
His hand covered mine. “No.” His voice was soft and gentle. “I want to spend time with you, too.”
I smiled and dared a look at him from the corner of my eye. He was smiling, too, and I tried to memorize the way the smile transformed his face. It brought out faint lines at the corner of his eyes. It brightened him. I wanted to learn what it took to draw that smile from its depths so that I could find ways to keep it on his face. It transformed him from handsome to beautiful.
“Then this morning, we will simply spend the day together,” I declared.
