Ava’s words bounce around in my mind; the more I think about it, the more I think she is right. That thought is utterly terrifying. At this point, I can’t tell if I am nauseous again or if it’s anxiety.
There is only one way to find out if she was right, and unfortunately, I live in the world's smallest town, and if I buy a pregnancy test right now, it will have looped back to everyone who has ever stepped foot in Windy Peaks by noon tomorrow. So that is not an option, but I do have a very pregnant friend who, if I know her, and I do, probably bought twelve when she thought she was pregnant just to be sure. Hopefully, after six positive tests, she accepted it and has some extras lying around.
I plop down onto my couch, pull out my phone, and dial Ava.
“Hey, what’s up?” she asks.
“Are you alone right now?” I ask, nervously chewing on my bottom lip. I cannot believe this is happening to me right now.
“Yeah, Maverick hasn’t made it home yet. I think the boys are still at the ranch. What's up?”
I throw my phone free hand over my eyes, as if blocking out the world would make the next words any easier. “Do you have any extra pregnancy tests laying around?” I borderline whisper, scared someone can overhear me in my own empty house.
“I do. Do you want me to drop off a couple?”
“Yeah, I just…” My words trail off.
“I know the feeling. I will drop them off before Maverick gets home so he doesn’t see. I’ll be at your place in about twenty minutes. Do you want me to take them with you or just drop them off?”
She is the most considerate person in the world, one of many reasons I love her. “If you could just leave them in my mailbox, that would be great.” Seeing people isn’t really on my list of things to do while I am in the middle of an existential crisis.
“If you are, then is the dad who I think it is?” she asks, probably knowing that’s where a lot of fear is coming from.
“Yeah. But I don’t want to talk about it until it’s a real thing.”
“Fair enough. I’m getting in my car now; I’ll knock so you know when to check your mailbox.”
Rhett would make an amazing dad; I have no fears in that regard, but a baby is very much breaking the rules that what we had was casual, temporary. I try to remind myself this is all hypothetical. He uses condoms, I’m on the pill, but I’m not always the best at taking it.
I’m probably just tired from working; there’s no way this test will come back positive.
It’s almost amusing how committed I am to talking myself off the ledge right now.
I startle when I hear the knock on the door; if I thought my heart was pounding before, it’s really going now. This one little test could change everything.
I run to my mailbox in slippers and sweatpants, freezing my ass off. I grab the two tests and dart back inside.
Not bothering to go to my own bathroom toward the back of my house, I make a pit stop at the closest one in the hallway.
I quickly Google how to take the test. “Okay, so I just need to pee in a cup, dip for five seconds, and then wait.” I follow the instructions to a T, not wanting to have to doubt the answer.
With shaking hands, I take the test and set it on the counter to process. In five minutes, I will know if my life is going to change. I stare at it, as if that will make time go by any faster.
“You’re being crazy, Aspen. Step away from the test,” I scold myself, walking out of the bathroom and back into the living room. Thank God I don’t have roommates with how often I talk to myself; they would think I was insane.
The second I sit down, there’s a knock at my door. Before I even get the chance to open it, my brother comes barreling in.
“What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to let yourself in?” I quirk up a brow.
“Uh, I told you I would be coming by yesterday; you asked if I could bring a space heater?”
I guess in all the chaos of my thoughts, I forgot. “Oh yeah, well thanks.”
Weston, being the terrible house guest that he is, starts walking down my hallway. “I drank a shit ton of water today and have to pee like a racehorse.”
Normally, my brother needing to pee wouldn't be a problem; in fact, I actually like it when he walks around my place like he owns it. It can get lonely living by yourself and the company is nice, but today is the exception.
He steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and I look for a surface I can crawl under to die because my big brother is going to see a pregnancy test on that counter. It might take him a second, because he is a man and I swear they havetunnel vision, but he’s going to see it, and he’s going to have questions and I’m going to have to pretend I'm doing a science experiment or something. Which he won’t buy for a second...
