Fuck me. This is what I get for screwing around with my brother's best friend, it must be bad karma or something.
I sit on the couch and bury my face in my hands. My cheeks are so hot from the embarrassment that the warmth from them sinks into my palms. This is literally the worst thing that could have happened.
Actually, my dad seeing it would have been worse, so we will look at that as the world's smallest bright side.
Weston comes barreling out of the bathroom like a loose cannon. “Aspen, why the fuck is there a pregnancy test in the bathroom?”
“I feel like you’re smart enough to know the answer to that question.” I shoot off the couch and dart to the bathroom. I need to see if there are two lines.
I step foot into my bathroom and look down at the test. Two lines stare back at me. The test line is so dark, it's stealing dye from the control line. I am very,verypregnant. There is no hiding it.
So many emotions slam into me at once that I can’t control the tears that start to fall, my breathing becomes erratic and I realize I’m having a panic attack.
I vaguely hear Weston's footsteps as he comes to stand in the door frame. “Aspen, it’s okay. Take a deep breath.” He places his hand on my shoulder, trying to steady me.
His hand is like kerosine to my flame of panic, it takes off again, I try to answer, “I don’t, I can’t…fuck.” Tears fall rapidly now.
“I’m gonna get you some water. It’s okay, Aspen. I’ve got you.”
I’m not sure exactly what I expected from him, but him tugging me in for a hug, and squeezing the panic out of me wasnot it. His embrace settles my nerves. “It’s going to be okay, Aspen. Just breathe,” he instructs and I follow his lead, I always have.
Once I get my bearings, he pulls away, clearly he’s got a lot going on in his head too because his brows are knitted together and I think he wants to kill the man that got me pregnant.Too bad that person is his best friend.
Now that I’m breathing I can start to think clearly. I wipe my eyes and take one more steadying breath as Weston leaves the room to get my water.
Holy shit, I’m going to be a mom.
A wave of uncertainty washes over me. Am I even ready to be a mom? I figured when this time came, I’d be more settled. I wanted my kids to come from a home full of love, just like I did. I’ve known about this baby for all of five minutes, and the love that I have for them is already growing. It’s like a piece of me changed and snapped into place when I saw that second line. So, maybe, just maybe. My love will be enough.
He hands me the water. “So I take it the baby daddy is a deadbeat? Is that why you’re freaking out? It’s not the guy from the bar, is it?” he asks.
“No. It’s not him and it’s not that. I’m going to need some time to process this before I’m ready to talk. I need to tell the dad and, well, can you please keep this between us for a bit? I’ll let you know when I figure things out, okay?”
He studies me for a moment. Trying to figure out what I’m not telling him. “Okay,” he nods, “I just want you to know, no matter what happens, you won’t be alone; I won’t allow that. I’ll be there for you anyway you need.”
My heart swells and breaks all at the same time, and I question whether he will still feel that way after he finds out who the dad is. I know he is going to feel betrayed. That thought, however, is far too much for me to deal with right now.
“Thank you, Weston.” I lean in for another hug. “I think I need some time alone for now. I promise I’m okay. I’ll call you later.”
He steps back and nods. “Alright, you call if you need anything.” He leaves me alone with my thoughts.
I walk back to the bathroom and grab the test up off the counter, staring at it.
I’ve always wanted kids eventually, so the thought of being a mom doesn’t scare me. Having to tell the man who didn't want feelings involved, on the other hand? Terrifying. He’ll do the right thing, I know he will, but will he resent me for it?My mind whirls while I stare at the test in my hands, sinking down to the floor, drowning in fear and doubt.
Chapter 10
Rhett
It’s a beautiful day for the end of January. The sun is shining and slowly melting some of the snow. The cows are loving it, too. Usually the wind is blowing so damn hard, I struggle to stay on my horse. Today my horse gets to stay safe and warm in the barn while I ride the side-by-side through the pastures. It’s my job to get them some fresh hay today, so I’m the cow’s best friend. Until next week, when it’s West’s turn.
We all divide up our duties and take turns. That’s how we make it work. Each of us being owners means we each hold a responsibility to keeping this ranch operating. To keeping the cattle safe and to honoring the Taylor name. I may not be a Taylor by blood, but I am by heart.
Hopping out of the side by side, I get to the hay feeder and check to see its levels.
“Damn, have y’all done anything but eat hay since last week?” I ask the few cows standing around me.
I get a resounding echo of moos from the cows and I laugh. Sometimes I wonder if they really understand what we’re saying. If that’s the case, they know all my darkest secrets. They can be good company when you want to be alone but need to talk. I find that to be something I need a lot.
