Her sorrow is replaced with red-hot anger. “I am a grown ass woman, Rhett. I am plenty capable of deciding what I deserve.”
“You say that now, but what happens when I’ve lost my strength, and I'm not talking the strength in here,” I pound at my heart, “I’m talking about these.” I slap my legs. “When I can no longer walk.”
“Then I will carry you, I will figure it out, I do not care about your body, Rhett, I want your heart.” Her cheeks are flushed with emotion, tears still spilling from her eyes.
“That’s easy to say now, but I’ve seen a firsthand account of how this disease can tear two people apart. I watched my parents go from blissfully in love to loathing each other when taking care of my grandpa took over every crevice of their lives.”
“Rhett, I take care of people for a living; you can’t seriously think it would be a burden for me to take care of you.”
“If I have this disease, Aspen, it is going to chew up and spit up every last piece of my dignity. My pride will be shattered into pieces so fine, it’ll be impossible to put back together. How the fuck am I supposed to look you in the eyes and tell you that you’re going to not only be changing our babies’ diapers, but in ten or fifteen years, maybe mine too?”
Devastation dances across her features as it sinks in.
“See, I can’t ask that of you.”
“You don’t have to ask, because I would gladly do it. Don’t you dare put me into a category that would keep me away from you, from loving you entirely. Sickness and health aren’t in wedding vows for shits and giggles, Rhett. I would die happy if I knew I had given you back your dignity, that you could go out knowing you were never less to me than the man you are now. We are not your parents.”
Her words reverberate deep down, striking deep.
We are not your parents.
Her words reverberate off the walls of my mind down to my heart, sinking in and letting hope bloom.
Her face isn’t the only one covered in devastation, mine quickly follows. My heart is warring at what it wants and what it thinks is safe. As a man, it’s my job to protect her, and I cannot protect her from this.
She takes a steadying breath, coming up to me and grabbing my hands. “Rhett, your body is only one small piece of you. If it fails, there are still a million things left for me to adore. You aren’t protecting me by keeping me at arms distance; you’re hurting me. Which kind of defeats you being a martyr, doesn’t it?”
Aspen has a knack for having words hit hard and true. Add that to the laundry list of reasons I can’t stay away from her. The reason I cannot stop myself from loving her, even when I want to.
“I will not beg for you, Rhett. I need you to quit being a stubborn asshole, and just be here with me. Live life with me,please.”
What the hell is wrong with me? I have the most beautiful woman in my world asking for me to let her in. Asking for my heart. What kind of asshole rejects the woman carrying his child, especially when I love her? I love her so much more than she could even begin to wrap her mind around, but I’ve messed this up so badly that I’ve made her think less of herself?
Fuck that.
I look longingly at her face for a moment before I take the leap. I step to her, pulling her closer to me, and I wrap my hands around the back of her neck. She is so soft compared to me, in all the ways. Open and loving when I am guarded and broken.
And she still chooses me.
“Okay.” It’s the last word I mumble out before my lips meet hers. This disease might kill me, but not loving her is a sure-fire way to kill whatever is left of my heart. So, I’m choosing hope.
Her mouth moves rhythmically with mine. My body relaxes, like it’s heaved out a giant sigh of relief now that she’s back in my hands.
“I’m all in Aspen. Whatever you want, I want too, baby,” I whisper against her lips.
I feel her warm tears mingle with mine. This will be the last time I make her hurt, the last time I ever make tears fall from her eyes again.
“I want you, Rhett. All of you.” Her hands heatedly run up and down my body. It’s been far too fucking long, causing the heat and fire to build to a level that is all-consuming.
“I’m yours,” I say as I walk backward, leading her to her room. “And I’m about to show what a sorry fucker I am.”
We bust through the door and as much as I want to rush this, I want to take my time. We’ve never done this admittedly in love before. To me, this is our first time all over again, except this time, I’m giving her all of me, not just the pieces I think are worthy. She can have my damaged heart and whatever else. She’s already given me everything.
My lips slowly move against the skin of her neck, pebbling it with kisses. “Have I told you lately just how beautiful you are? How damn good you look carrying my baby?”
I feel her shiver against my breath and my words. “No, you should probably remind me.”
“How about I tell you every damn thing I love about you?” I lean back, not giving her a chance to disagree with my little game.
