A knock at the door startles both of us out of our daydreams. The doctor from the first appointment walks in. “Hey guys. It’s great to see you again. I’m sure you are anxious to go over your test results.”
Rhett nods.
Anxious is the understatement of the century.
His laptop sits in front of him, its light illuminating his face. “The initial labs we got were good, and it looks like we have already called you about those.” He ticks his tongue as he reads further. “Ah, yes. These are the ones we were really wanting.”
Rhett's hand grips mine so tightly, like it’s his last thread from falling off the deep end. I squeeze it back. A silent reminder that I am here for him, and that we will still be great, regardless of what those tests say.
He looks closer at the screen, reading more thoroughly, before a smile cracks his face. “These are all looking great, Rhett. From the looks of it, BMD is not in your future.”
The words ‘not in your future’ hang in the air like a celebratory balloon.
“Are you sure?” Rhett’s voice cracks.
“From these results, yes. I still want you to keep an eye on the symptoms we’ve talked about. Muscle weakness, heart issues, and things of that nature. But, yes, Rhett. It looks like you dodged the bullet.”
Rhett’s head sinks into his hands as his body shakes.
“Thank you so much for giving us good news today,” I say, reaching my hand out to shake his.
“Of course. I’m going to give you guys some time and privacy. It’s been a pleasure being able to give you good news; I don’t always get to do it. These moments make the bad ones easier.” He encompasses both of his hands over mine, holding them for a second. Before letting go, looking at Rhett, whose head is still down, with a smile.
It is very hard giving bad news to patients; I’ve done it more times than I can count, but those days you get to relieve someone of their fear? There’s nothing else like it.
The second the door closes behind him, I let a tear fall. I’ve been trying so hard to hold it all together and be strong for him. The relief that’s in this room is palpable.
Rhett's shoulders still shake.
“I’m so happy for you, Rhett.” I sit back down, rubbing my hand on his back, resting the other one on my belly. “Our boy is going to get to run and play with you for a long time.”
A choked sound comes out of him, and when he looks up, he looks almost haunted. His eyes are red-rimmed from the tears, but it’s more than that. I can see the pain behind them.
“What’s wrong? We got good news?” Confusion dances through my words.
“I am so relieved, but I am so regretful of the time I wasted. Of the hurt I put you through because of my pain.” He shakes his head, looking away from me; his anger makes his jaw grind. “I could’ve loved you for years now. Instead I pushed you away until you were miserable all for nothing.” His voice cracks as more tears streak down his cheeks.
My arm tightens around him, then I crouch down in front of him. It’s harder now with the bump, but I need him to look at me and listen.
I cup my hand over his face. “Baby, look at me. Please.”
“I can’t right now. I’m so mad at myself. If I just would’ve had the courage to do this when I was eighteen, we’d probably be married right now.”
I grab on to his arm. “I get that. But don’t you dare waste any more time on a different form of the same thing. I love you, and I love our family that we’re building. We have so much to look forward to; it’d be a damn shame to waste a single second of it feeling anything but joy.”
His chocolate brown eyes finally meet mine, and I give him a smile.
“What do you say, let’s go build a future. No more fear, no more anger. Just you, me, and our boy.”
As if on cue, I feel a kick. They’ve been so subtle, but that one wasn’t.
I stand as quickly as possible, which isn’t breaking any records, and rest Rhett’s hand on the bump. “Wait for it.”
Tapping the bump with my spare hand, I hope to rile him.
I feel the thump even on the hand that’s not near the kick site.
Rhett’s eyes light up. The switch going off in his head of what he is feeling. “Wow.”
