Dill had said it so easily. Like it was obvious. Like the answer had been sitting right there on the table and everyone had seen it but him.
He turned his head slowly to look at Manny. In sleep, his Daddy looked softer somehow. The quiet authority he carried through the day eased out of him, and what was left was just a man. His man. The one who showed up at his office with pizza bagels and a blanket. Who learned how he liked to be swaddled. Who had crouched down on the floor of a munch on his very first night and decided, without hesitation, that Koa was worth his gentleness.
That was the thing that kept snagging in him. Not doubt. He knew with a certainty that lived somewhere below his ribs that Manny was it for him. The nervousness wasn't about whether. It was about the size of it. How something this good had found its way to him. How he hadn't ruined it yet by wanting too much.
He'd always wanted too much. His whole life, he'd been told so in one way or another. Too needy. Too much. Too little, even, in the way that made people uncomfortable.
But Manny never flinched. Not once.
Koa exhaled slowly and tucked himself a little closer, until his forehead was resting against Manny's shoulder. The arm around his waist tightened on instinct, even in sleep. Even without knowing.
Yeah,Koa thought.Okay.
By morning, he knew what he was going to do.
Manny arrived home to find Koa sitting cross-legged in their living room with a bag beside him, the same as he had been that day in the playroom so many months ago. Manny smiledbecause he was an understanding Daddy who went along with his boy's whims. Koa loved him even more, and though he wanted to shout the words out, he couldn't. So instead, he pulled the bag in front of him and waited for his Daddy to see what was inside.
When Manny unzipped it, he frowned. Usually the bag was filled to the brim with diapers, wipes, blankets and the like. It was fully stocked 24/7 in case one of them wanted to play. This time it only held a piece of paper inside.
Manny pulled it out and opened it up. Koa watched him, holding his breath, wondering if this was either going to be the greatest day of his life so far or if he was making a grave mistake.
Manny read the words. Then his head jerked up to look at Koa.
"Sweetheart," he said, his voice breaking on the single word.
Koa unclasped his hands to reveal two gold wedding bands. He'd gone to pick them up after having to sneak his Daddy's ring finger size. If there had been a hidden camera, someone somewhere would have submitted it to one of those funny video shows, because Koa not only had to untangle himself from his Daddy's grasp, but he had to get a string wrapped around Daddy's finger, then take that off, measure it, and then make himself climb back into bed and wrap Daddy around him again. It was something one of those fancy British agents would do. You know the one, with the suits and who always said his last name first.
Manny reached out his hand towards Koa, who remained very still. He took one of the rings, the larger of the two, and slid it on his ring finger. Koa's heart raced.Did that mean he was…
His thoughts stopped as Manny picked up the other ring, then turned Koa's hand over and slid it on.
"I would love nothing more than to be your husband. I am already your partner and your Daddy. Another title is perfect."
Koa's eyes filled with tears. There was no hiding the emotion. No belittling how happy he was.
Manny tackled him in a hug, his hands careful to brace Koa's head against the fall. Hovering over his boy, Manny kissed him all over his face and down his neck, peppering him until Koa was a giggling mess. When he pulled back, Manny's eyes were glossy too.
"I love you so much. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Me too, Daddy," he said.
There was something about Queer weddings that made people emotional.
Maybe it was because for so long couples weren't allowed to get married. Maybe it was acknowledging people who never got the chance to truly live out their lives before the laws changed. Maybe it was just because everyone was very in touch with their emotions in general. You wouldn't find anyone who bottled themselves up in the ballroom Koa and Manny had rented.
Koa stood at the end of the aisle, Manny's hands in his. Koa's white suit gleamed against Manny's black one. Their fingers were laced together as Dill, their officiant, spoke.
"I'm so glad these two finally got their heads out of their asses," they announced.
The crowd, of course, laughed.
Their friends filled the seats, some family too. Some people from the club who they'd grown close to had come in a show of support. Koa ignored them all, his focus on the man who was about to become his husband.
Dill went through the vows, adjusting them to be less religious and more to the couple's liking. There were clauses about being there for one another through Little and Big time, along with mentions of candy allowances. Koa frowned at that one. His Daddy winked at him, squeezing his fingers. He'd let it go for now, but maybe they needed to have a talk about what was the appropriate amount of candy. Daddy clearly didn't know.
When the words, "You may kiss your groom," left Dill's lips, Manny moved at lightning speed. Koa only had a second to take a breath before lips crashed against his and he was tipped back. He held on to his Daddy's shoulders for dear life. He wasn't afraid that he would fall. His Daddy wouldn't let that happen. It was more that he felt as if the world beneath him was unsteady, that everything had shifted and they were floating above the room like some type of magic act. It was the only thing to describe what was happening.
And Koa loved it.
