Theo's heart was heavy as he trudged up to the deck of the ship, feeling as though his arrival in Scotland had caused nothing but strife for half a dozen people. There were going to be lives on his hands soon enough. He couldn't keep on living the way he had been, with Cliodhna’s threats encroaching on his existence every day; it was barely living. But this? Scotland's entire magical population might be at risk. Well, maybe not, butCalum was. And his family. And likely anyone his family loved. And now Lyra. Lyra's sister…
“This was a horrible decision,” Theo grunted, letting the door slam shut behind him as he walked towards the railing.
The sea was rougher now, the boat's rhythmic swaying more prominent under his feet. The waves were white-capped and rolling, churning the tides beneath the surface, which were visible even from the deck. They called to him. All he had to do was slip over the railing, and all of this would be over. The goddess would have what she wanted. Lyra and her sister would be safe. Calum's life would go back to normal.
Theo had always been horrifically practical. His previous therapists had called it a defense mechanism. If he removed his emotions from any situation, it was simply a matter of practicality. He wasn't running from his own feelings.
It would have been more jarring if he hadn’t struggled with his mental health, especially into adulthood. It turned out that was a fairly expected side-effect of being cursed upon your birth and living your life in exile, raised separately from your family. Most days, Theo thought he was doing pretty well in the mental health department, all things considered. In this exact moment, the mental exercises his therapist had given him weren't helping.
Theo tightened his grip on the railing. No sooner had his fingers tensed than a huge hand wrapped around the scruff of his neck and yanked him backward.
Theo yelped, a rather undignified sound, and braced himself to go tumbling to the deck. Instead, the grip stayed firm, supporting Theo while he found his footing. Theo tried to turn around, but Wyn was holding onto him like an upset mother cat. Out of the corner of his eye, Theo could see he looked hissing mad too.
Theo didn't say anything, his eyes downcast as he found his footing on the deck.
“I wasn’t… Everything is fine,” he admitted slowly, stumbling over his words. He didn't know what Wyn suspected, but the way he was looking at him, he wasn't entirely unsure Wyn couldn't read his thoughts.
“Would be fine if it wasn’t.” Wyn's normally cheerful voice sounded more serious than Theo imagined possible. “But jumping overboard to give yourself over to a vengeful banshee goddess typically falls under the category of an overreaction.”
Wyn released Theo and gave him a firm pat on the back. He lowered his voice.
“You know, Calum would be a mess if anything happened to you. Especially so soon after making your acquaintance.” Wyn stated it as fact, as if this was something well known about Calum. Theo blushed, his cheeks going red with embarrassment, as he looked down at his feet. The sound of the waves surrounding them now taunted him.
“I wouldn't be so sure,” Theo admitted, shame and insecurity ricocheting off of each other in his chest. To his horror, tears started welling up in the back of his eyes. “I showed up and made a mess of his world.” Theo gestured out towards the horizon, biting his lip. “Now he's losing resources and has me out on this harebrained quest, trying to stop a goddess who threatened our entire bloodline decades ago.”
“You listen here.” Wyn's hand was back on Theo's neck, guiding him towards a long bench that ran along the edge of the deck. He deposited the young prince there with all the attitude of someone dropping a toddler into a time-out.
“I know you have a particular way of viewing the world, being raised on the run and all.” Wyn crossed his arms over his big chest. “But you have to stop internalizing your very existence asa burden and a problem. Calum doesn't think so, and I’m sure your parents didn't either.”
Theo sucked in a sharp gasp, staring at Wyn. He'd had several therapists over the years who never managed to cut to the quick as fast as the elf.
“Damn,” Theo choked out. “Don't spare any niceties on my account then.”
“I’m sorry,” Wyn quipped in a tone that was not remotely sorry. “Do you need me to coddle your feelings a bit more? I thought you were upset because you feel as though you're something everyone needs to walk on eggshells around.”
“Holy shit.” Theo couldn't help it; he started to laugh. Wyn had a direct way of dealing with his problems, especially when it came to feelings, which Theo could rather appreciate. “No, by all means.” He wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, motioning for Wyn to continue. “Anything else about myself I need to know?”
Wyn cracked a smile, sitting down next to Theo.
“You're a good kid. Your brother loves you. You are not a burden to him, to me, to anyone who has volunteered their time to help you.”
Rebuttal was rising in Theo’s throat like a perverted knee-jerk reaction.
“And it might take some time for that to get through your thick skull.” Wyn laughed, a conspiratorial gleam in his eye. “Not everyone is as adept at navigating their emotional landmines as I am.”
“Ha,” Theo snorted. “I’m sure you're one big green flag.”
Wyn looked confused. “Why would I be a green flag? I'm an elven prince of the Shetland Islands. A flag? I am a sword, if anything.”
Theo laughed, shaking his head back and forth as Wyn's Viking heritage came out in full force. As integrated as themagical world was with its human counterpart, occasional sayings didn’t translate.
“No, it's something that people say these days. Oftentimes, when they're dating? If someone is a red or a green flag.”
“Ah.” Wyn seemed to think this over. “I didn't think we were isolated enough to fall behind on modern vernacular. Then, yes, I am a green flag. That is the good one?”
“Yes, it is. You're a big green flag, Wyn.”
He clapped his hand on Wyn's shoulder, feeling a little lighter. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Theo determined to focus on one day at a time.
