I shrug and have a bite. Not bad. Charles finds the weirdest places.
“I had to tell MJ what happened. It didn’t go down well. But I’ve told her not to bring it up with Neive yet.” I also made sure not to mention who Neive ran to. Didn’t feel like that would go down well either. I don’t need Reilly in MJ’s line of fire.
“Good call,” Charles tells me.
Only one I’ve made recently. I keep fucking it all up. Can’t keep MJ happy. Can’t give Neive peace. Can’t keep Reilly. Period.
“Fuck, this cheese is good.”
“Vegan cheese is good?” I ask. Charles flits around with his diet, normally based on his woman of the month. He converted to veganism while dating the delightfully free-spirited Meadow, the vegan diet lasted longer than the relationship.
“Burger is veggie. Cheese is cow,” he says round a mouthful of beanburger and “cow” cheese. For a man who grew up in a lap of luxury, he eats like he grew up in a barn. “Stop giving yourself such a hard time, Elton. Ease up, yeah? It will all work out good in the end. I’m going to check on Squirt. See if she fancies heading out on the boat.”
I nod in agreement. She loves sailing with Charles, and open air can only be a positive thing. “Tread carefully, she’s fragile today. Don’t wind her up.” Though they aren’t directly related,Neive treats Charles like an uncle, and he treats her like a little sister who he loves but gets to annoy.
“You’re a good man, brother. You care about your family. Neive knows that and so does MJ. Reilly will know that as well one day,” he says as he walks out of my gym, leaving his greasy burger wrappers on the ground.
I do care about my family. They mean everything to me.
NINETEEN
Reilly
Iswear there isn’t a better stress reliever than hand-beating egg whites for Swiss meringue buttercream. Sure, I could use the KitchenAid but I wouldn’t be able to repent this overwhelming surge of anxiety in me.
Thea and Sarah sit on the stools on the opposite side of the counter, both clutching their mugs to their chests. Thea sits upright, her eyes tracking my movements, whereas Sarah leans slightly forward, eager to hear why I have summoned them. Mum is out taking Dorothy food shopping, so I called the girls round for coffee and pancakes. Though, in my attempt to avoid the inevitable conversation I needed to have with them, I ended up baking while they sat at the kitchen table, sipping on chai oat milk lattes I had made especially.
“I slept with Elton,” I admit. Thea gleams as Sarah rolls her eyes.
“This is your big emergency?” Sarah would never see sex as a problem, but it is a problem.
“It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have. It’s too complicated.” My feelings about the situation have not changed, but my feelings for Elton are growing. And I don’t think I can allow them to.
Thea stands beside me, halting my aggressive egg-white beating, “Sweetie. What is so terrible about Elton? Why can’t you let yourself have this?”
“He has the power to hurt me. He could break my heart.” That’s what it all comes down to. Yes, he’s a distraction from my goals. Yes, I don’t want Neive in the middle of it. Yes, he has a lot going on in his own life. But ultimately, my main concern is that he will break me. He will love me, then leave me. I’ll be humiliated and heartbroken. The girl who got above her station and fell in love with the man way out of her league. It would never work between us. I shouldn’t even be considering going there.
“Well, I think you’re doing that to yourself.” That statement shockingly came from Sarah. She never fights for love. Only for sex. “You’re not wrong. He has the power to break your heart. Because you’ve fallen for him. You are in love with him.”
“I’m not in love with him. I barely know him.” I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince more, but the words taste bitter on my tongue, and I turn my back on the girls so they can’t see the lies in my eyes.
“Well, either way, he won’t be giving up easily.” Sarah gestures to the bunch of flowers that turned up yesterday afternoon, with a note –Have a lovely day, Elton. Simple, yet effective. He’s not asked me out or pushed to see me. Just a small reminder that he’s thinking of me. It melts me a little. Maybe the girls are right.
“Thea, how’s the family manhunt going?” I divert the attention off me, feeling analysed out.
“Awful! I swear, I can’t go on another date with another pompous mama’s boy. Half of them don’t even live down here. They come from London and immediately start telling me how if we got married, I would need to move back home.” She sneers. Thea’s family are desperate for her to settle down and move back to London with them. Her mum has been bombarding her with potential matches for three months. Though none are ticking her extensive list.
“Why not just give your requirements to your mum? If you won’t stop her from sending men down to you, you could at least let her know what you’re looking for,” I suggest. I can’t get to grips with Thea going along with this archaic version of dating.
“My mother wouldn’t agree. Or even listen to me. No, it’s best I carry on as I am.” She sounds resigned to her fate. Coming from an aristocratic line, Thea’s family expects her to meet a certain calibre of gentleman. Unfortunately (or not, depending on if you’re her friend or her mother) Thea doesn’t put the attributes at the top of her list that her family expects her to. But being the little people-pleaser she is, she is trying her hardest to find a compromise.
“Just because I’m distracted by Thea’s disastrous dating life, don’t think I can’t see your grubby hands in my icing bowl,” I scold Sarah. She licks her finger and winks at me before scurrying over to the window as a car pulls up outside. Such a curtain twitcher, she’s worse than Dorothy.
“Ohhh, Elton’s hot butler is here,” she says, clapping her hands together like an excited child who’s been told there’s ice cream after dinner.
“He’s not a butler. He’s his … person.” I don’t really know what Jeeves is or what he does for Elton.
Thea joins us at the window. “He might not be a butler, but he’s definitely hot.” A slight blush creeps up her face when she realises he has caught us spying.
