“Why are you even still here?” MJ spits out with venom, coming back into the room. “You’re not family. You should leave.” Her eyes are still red and she crosses her arms in front of her.
Reilly stiffens and I pull her attention back to me, I need to get her away from MJ’s line of fire. “Tea would be great,” I say as I squeeze her hand. She looks down at our joined palms then back at my face. Hurt fills her eyes, but I say nothing as she walks off towards the kitchen.
“She shouldn’t be here, Elton. Bringing one of your sluts around family matters.” MJ is standing in front of me now, toe to toe. Spoiling for a fight, her anger should be aimed at me, but right now, Reilly is her target.
“I get you’re upset, MJ, but my girlfriend is not the problem right now.” I want to hold her but, knowing MJ any touch is going to set her off, I keep my hands at my sides.
Jeeves is off the phone and keeping close. Trying to gauge if he needs to step in at any point. Emotions are running high right now. MJ and I have fought many times over the years – with her fiery temper and my unwillingness to back down – but it’s never come to violence between us.
“Is this where you are at the moment? You’ve been too busy keeping your mind on a bit of skirt to care for my daughter properly.” She points her finger into my chest, hard. Hard enough to embed the comment right inside me.
It sticks to my insides and spreads like a poison. “You’re out of line, MJ. I would do anything for Neive.”
Jeeves steps forward like he wants to intervene, but I hold my hand out, telling him to stay back.
“You’ve been distracted since this woman came into your life! Running after her. Trusting her. How do you know she’s not actually after your money?” Every word MJ says hits slightly harder. “All the crap at the beginning with the pregnancy and ‘misunderstandings’.” She air quotes the last word. MJ has always been suspicious by nature and I now regret confiding in her about the start of my and Reilly’s relationship. “She’s probably trying to get knocked up. Secure her baby daddy for the rest of her life.” She pushes her hands into my chest, cracking open old wounds I thought I had healed over. “She’s manipulating you!”
“She’s not you, MJ!” I raise my voice as my emotions tumble out of me.
The silence stretches, my chest heaves and I wait. Wait for the reaction, for the yelling, for the tears.
The distress in her eyes is a punch in the stomach. I reach for her, she shrinks back. My little sister recoils away from me.
I grab her anyway and pull her close, whispering apologies into her, begging her to forgive me. She’s already on the edge with what has happened tonight, I can’t push her over it with childish insults.
“She’s a distraction we don’t need right now, Elton. Your family needs you,” she says as tears fall down her face.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I keep stroking her. Placating her. “Just us, MJ. You, me and Neive.”
My guilt is running wild. I had been too busy. My head wasn’t where it should have been. Neive is my priority. I made myself my priority. I was selfish.
Reilly
I finish the pot of tea and set it on a tray Claire keeps next to the kettle.He agreed with her. I set out three mugs and a jug of milk.He agreed that I’m a distraction. Adding a little pot of honey.She said I’m manipulating him. Elton prefers his strong and bitter but the sugar will help with their nerves.He didn’t correct her.
They have forgotten we are in a giant open-plan kitchen living room. It’s huge, but I’m still in the same room as them.
Maybe I shouldn’t be here. This moment should be only for family. Which I’m not. I’m the fleeting fling. Elton’s latest amusement. I hold my breath until the sting behind my eyes dissipates.
Squaring my shoulders, I walk back, putting the tray on the table. “I’m going to head home. Let me know if you need anything.” I wait, giving space for “No, Reilly, please stay.”
“Okay,” Elton responds, thoughtlessly. A sharp pain stabs into my ribs.
I lift my head towards him. His eyes widen, finally remembering I’m in the room, then quickly ducks his head. The buzz starts in my fingers and creeps to my neck; I clench my fists, trying to release the pressure.
Gulping down the pain, I speak into the silence. “Oh, spoons.” I take the twelve steps it takes me to get to the kitchen and back. “Can you update me on Neive in the morning? Give her my love,” I say, dropping three teaspoons on the tray next to the mugs. The clink echoes across the room. Steam rises from the teapot. It will be strong. I put five teabags in there, thinking I would be staying. But I’m not.
I gather my coat and bag which is on the kitchen island then make my way back towards Elton. Each step heavy with bated breath, I stop in front of him and reach on my tiptoes to kiss him. He subtly presents me with his cheek.
The silent rejection stings worse than any words. I tighten the grip on my bag, stopping myself from clutching at my solar plexus.
I give Jeeves and MJ a wave. Jeeves gives me a pitiful smile, a rare show of emotion from him. That man can read a room. He knows what’s happening here. I wish I could have known, before it was too late.
MJ meets my eyes, then glances away as her cheeks turn pink. I don’t blame her. Her child has been hurt, she has so much to deal with right now.
As I reach the front door, I glance back at them. One look. All I need is one look from him to tell me it’s all going to be okay.
Nothing. My nose feels heavy and I hold my breath to ease the tension. He’s got MJ cuddled under his shoulder as he talks to Jeeves. I let myself out of the house. The automatic locking of the door closing behind me makes me jump.
